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早上好 成功者 Good morning, winner.
深呼吸 Take a deep breath.
很好 Good.
你已经准备好掌控这一天了 You're ready to dominate this day.
你比其他人都更努力 You've worked harder than everyone,
所以你才是第一名 and that is why you're a champion.
你明白牺牲造就传奇 You understand that greatness takes sacrifice.
想象一下你想要实现的梦想 Visualize what you still want to achieve.
你站在成功的山顶上 Stand atop the mountain of your success
看着下面所有 and look down at everyone
曾经怀疑过你的人 who's ever doubted you.
去他妈的失败者们 Fuck those losers.
当着他们的蠢脸抽他丫的 Fuck them in their stupid fucking faces.
高材生
傻逼 Oh, shit.
别停 Hold the phone!
我来了 I'm comin'!
傻逼 Oh, shit.
咋了 咋了 稍等 What? What? Excuse me.
怎么样 Oh. What?
想你 我想你了 Missed ya! I missed you.
我很想你 一晚上没见了 I missed you so much. It's been one night.
-我们要去上学吗 还是 -不去 - Are we gonna go to school, or-- - No.
我觉得我们别去上学了 I don't think we are.
对 我们就在这里待着 No, we're just gonna stay... here.
主席车位
-闪开 -天哪 - Move! - Jeez!
你是不是 Are you...
我向上帝发誓 I swear to God.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你在跟我开玩笑吗 萨曼莎 Are you kidding me? Samantha!
怎么在我的 Where was this energy at
就职典礼上没这么有活力 朋友 my inauguration assembly, folks?
对呀 True.
我希望我不会再见到你了 好吗 I hope I never have to see any of you ever again, okay?
就这样吧 滚蛋吧 That's it. Signin' off.
冲啊 克罗基特 Go, Crocketts!
布朗校长 Principal Brown?
莫利 艾米 有事吗 Hi, Molly, Amy. What's shakin'?
我想要尽快进行 I want to make the transition of next year's
下一届学生会的交接 student government as seamless as possible,
这样当我在纽黑文的时候 so that when I'm up in New Haven--
耶鲁 你可以直接说耶鲁 Yale. You can just say Yale,
拜托 please.
我们年级的政策是不讨论 Well, our class's official policy is to not discuss
明年大家都会去哪 where anyone is attending next year.
我们不想让他们感到不安 We don't want them to feel insecure.
很体贴 Very thoughtful.
我需要重新看一下我们年终的预算 I need to go over the end of the year budget numbers we have.
天啊 Gosh.
真的要吗 Really?
现在吗 Like, now?
我的意思是 你去找尼克可以吗 I mean, why don't you do it with Nick?
拜托了 You know, please?
我是说 他是 你知道的 副主席 I mean, he's... you know, he's the vice president.
尼克吗 Nick?
我们都知道尼克之所以竞选副主席 We both know that Nick only ran for VP
是因为他们要筹备舞会 because they plan the dances.
那个职位就是 That position is...
完全是比拼人缘 他没什么用的 It's basically a popularity contest. He's useless.
女士们 今天是最后一天了 Ladies, it's the last day, you know?
我们成功了 We did it, huh?
我们陪你们度过了高中 We got you through high school.
我们就不能只是毕业 去上大学 Can't we just graduate, head off to college,
庆祝这个美好的成功吗 you know, celebrate this wonderful achievement?
让我们平平安安地度过这一天吧 Let's get through the day without anything horrible happening.
抱歉 你是要把我们关在门外吗 Sorry, are you shutting the door on us?
-这也太直接了 -我们不会放弃的 - 'Cause that's not subtle. - We will persist!
尼克像个花心大萝卜一样 Nick's like the great equalizer.
每个女生小团体都有人 Delegates from every group of girls
想赢得他的鸡鸡的青睐 are casting their ballots for his penis.
三A拔了头筹 Oh, Triple A takes the lead.
别这么叫她 Don't call her that.
每个人都这么叫她 Everybody calls her that.
去年她跟三个老家伙做了道路救援 She gave roadside assistance to three senior guys last year.
道路救援 特指在停在路边的事故车辆中进行性行为
你听说过他们有侮辱性的绰号吗 You hear them getting degrading nicknames?
他们管山姆·罗斯叫 阴茎碎片 They call Sam Ross "Dick Splinter."
这不是侮辱 这是在形容事实 That's not derogatory, it's a factual description.
-七点二十 -就用了八分钟吗 - 7:20. - Under eight minutes?
你开玩笑的吧 You're joking! Aah!
我的天哪 我九点四十三 Oh, my God. 9:43.
没有你们我明年怎么过 What am I gonna do without you girls next year?
这里的人连周四版都没尝试过 Nobody around here even attempts the Thursday.
艾米和我打算每周视频做填字游戏 Well, Amy and I are gonna Skype the puzzle every single week,
所以我们会把周日版的完成时间发给你 so we will send you our Sunday Times.
不如我直接给你们我的电话号码 You know what? Why don't I just give you two my number?
这样 如果你们有需要 That way, you guys can call
可以给我打电话或者发短信 or text me if you need anything.
太棒了 这对我们很有帮助 Yeah! That would make our lives.
我们很乐意 非常乐意 We'd love that. Definitely.
一会我把我手机号给你 I'll give you mine after.
不不不 我来留联系方式 No. No. No. I'll share the contact.
-我可以给 -我来留联系方式 - I can give-- - I'll share it.
等一下 法因老师 我以为 Wait. Miss Fine, I thought there were
在教室里不让带手机 no cell phones allowed in class.
或者马屁精可以例外吗 Or are there exceptions for ass-kissers?
放一美元到诅咒罐子里 A dollar in the swear jar.
诅咒罐子 大人为了教育孩子不要说脏话所用的方法
我很抱歉 这条短裤没有口袋 I'm so sorry. These shorts, they don't have pockets.
借过一下 借过一下 上帝 Okay, excuse me. Excuse me. Jesus Christ!
这个学校没有空间意识 No spatial awareness at this school.
这些人就是不懂 People just really don't.
-嘿 艾米 -是她 - Hey, Amy? - It's her!
怎么了 Yeah?
你刚刚是要到了老师的手机号吗 Did you just score your teacher's phone number?
对 Yeah.
干得漂亮 Nice.
嘿 法因老师 Hey, Miss Fine?
今晚你应该跟我们一起参加派对 You should come party with us tonight.
你有问过法因老师想不想 Did you just ask Miss Fine
跟你们一起参加派对吗 if she wants to party with you?
你觉得她想看到你喝醉了然后砸东西吗 You think she wants to watch you get drunk and break things?
等一下 我在跟她说话 跟你没关系 Hold on. I was having a conversation with her. You're not part of this.
-我在 -坐下 特奥 - I'm-- - Sit down, Theo.
怎么了 法因老师 Yo, yo. What up, Miss Fine?
这是给我最爱的老师的告别礼物 Just a last day present for my favorite teach.
杰尔德 你不是我学生 Jared, you are not my student.
你名声在外嘛 I've heard great things.
每个人都收到了毕业礼物 对吗 And, hey, everybody else got their graduation gifts, right?
看 Come on.
每个角度都有杰尔德·贝尔 对吗 Jare Bear coming at you from all angles, right?
没人要你这么做 Nobody asked for that.
大的我 小的我 中间是迷你杰尔德 Big me, littler me, little baby Jared at the bottom.
迷你杰尔德说 祝大家毕业快乐 Baby Jared says, "Happy graduation, everybody!"
没人打算穿印着你脸的衣服 杰尔德 Yeah, no one's gonna wear a shirt with your face on it, Jared.
不是在讽刺你 Like, not even ironically.
好吧 不管怎么说 因为 Okay, well, agree to disagree, 'cause--
走吧 杰尔德 Jared, just go.
我要走了 已经走了 再见莫利 I'm out of here. Wasn't even here. See you, Molly.
再见 莫利 回头见 Bye, Molly. I'll see ya.
再见 莫利 Bye, Molly.
-他干嘛总是这么做 -公正的镇民们 -Why does he always do that? - Fair townspeople!
公正的镇民们 Fair townspeople?
公正的镇民们 我对上帝发誓 Fair townspeople, I swear to God!
-什么事 -写下日程安排 - What? - Mark thy calendars
做好计划去参加戏剧社的夏日活动 and make thy plans to attend the drama department's summer program,
公园 哦 不 停车场里的莎士比亚 Shakespeare in the Park... ing Lot.
我们会在镇上的全食超市外面 We will be performing the Bard's comedies as modern tragedies
将莎翁的喜剧以现代悲剧的形式演绎出来 outside Whole Foods across town.
会非常有意思的 这是 Well, it's actually funny. It's...
这就是我们去年在巴塞罗那 It's what we did in my summer program
夏日活动中做的事 last year in... Barcelona,
那时候我住在巴塞罗那 when I lived in Barcelona.
我做导演 I will be directing,
而艾伦 and Alan...
可能会是主演 等着试镜吧 may be starring, pending auditions.
我不试镜 I don't audition.
我是唯一的主演 I'm offer only.
听起来很有趣 但是我到时候 This looks fun, but I'm not gonna...
我到时候不在这里 I'm not gonna be here.
对 艾米要去博茨瓦那过暑假 Yeah, Amy's spending the summer in Botswana,
帮助女人们自己做卫生棉条 helping women make their own tampons.
有点 That's...
恶心 gross.
鲜血会吸引狮子 我在拯救生命 Well, blood attracts lions. I'm saving lives.
好吧 那还挺高尚的 我也有大事做 Oh, okay. Well, that's actually noble. I, too, have a fear of big cats.
我也不能去 因为我整个暑假都要打工 And I can't because I'm working all summer,
而且我也不想去 and also, I don't want to.
你真是没教养 You are a philistine.
你可以做辩论 为什么还要做戏剧 Why would you do theater when you could do debate?
因为有一些人喜欢和别人一起工作 Because some of us enjoy working with others.
有一些人知道怎么赢 And some of us know how to win.
穿成这样的人怎么都是输 Nobody's winning in that outfit.
都坐好 我们有事要做了 Sit down, y'all. We got work to do.
所以 莫利 So, Molly...
-开始吧 -谢谢 - Why don't you start us off? - Thank you.
结果了它 Kill it.
好了 或许你们还记得我昨天的分析 All right, well, as you might recall from my analysis yesterday,
-我们在讨论 -这是我们最后一天了 - we were talking about... - It's our last day!
-让我们活着吧 上帝 -向上级提交 - Let us live! God! - ...submitting to authority...
你要张开 You've gotta open...
你要再张大一点嘴 好吗 You've gotta open your mouth a little bit more, all right?
好吧 好吧 我明白 我明白 Yeah, okay, I gotcha, I gotcha.
好了 孩子们 Okay, chips!
好了就是这个 我明白 准备好了吗 All right, this is it. I gotcha. Ready?
哥们 我该怎么去那边 都是我的错 Dude, how am I supposed to get there? That was my bad.
-尼克 -你疯了 - Nick? - You're wild.
等一下 等一分钟 过来 Wait, just one sec. Just... come on.
尼克 还有一些学生会的事要处理 Nick, there's some student government stuff to go over.
再来一次 伙计 瞄准我的嘴 Come on, man, aim for my mouth!
我们要处理年终预算 所以如果你可以 We have to go over the end of year budget, so if you could...
我们在玩游戏看我能用哪里接住它 Yeah, just, we're playin' this game where I've gotta catch it with--
这很复杂 It's complicated.
我会 我想我待会儿会给你打电话 I'll... I'll hit you later, I guess.
我也觉得很复杂 I'm sure it's complicated.
我都不能相信我让尼克 I cannot believe I lasted an entire year
做了我一整年的副主席 with Nick as my vice president.
他对工作过敏 他只想游手好闲 He's allergic to work. All he wants to do is goof off.
真让人生气 It's infuriating.
去跟莱恩说句话 Go talk to Ryan.
什么 我不去 What? No.
好吧 因为我 我打算去跟莱恩搭讪 Cool, cool, 'cause I'm... I'm gonna go talk to Ryan.
-因为我有很多话要说 -别别别 - 'Cause I have so much to say-- - No, no, no.
好吧 好吧 Yeah? Fine.
我去 Just... I'm going.
-现在去 -这就对了 - Just gonna-- - There she goes.
对不起 对不起 对不起 Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
看着点 姐们 Oh, dude.
艾米 Amy.
没事 给你这个 It's all good. Here you go.
手肘挺尖嘛 Sharp elbows.
没有你的下巴尖 Not as sharp as your... chin.
什么 What?
额 是不是很疯狂 今天是最后一天 Um... so isn't it crazy that it's-- it's the last day?
我知道 姐们 我都不敢相信 I know, dude. I can barely believe it.
你今晚要来参加尼克的派对吗 Are you gonna come to Nick's tonight?
他姑姑去参加邮轮旅游 船抛锚了 His aunt went on a cruise ship that broke down,
所以尼克打算在他姑姑的房子里办派对 so Nick's gonna throw a party at her house.
听着 听着很棒 That's... that's awesome.
就 就还好吧 It's... it's all right.
他们被困在船上 They're, you know, they're stuck on a boat
在桶里大便 shitting in buckets.
我不是那个意思 Oh, that's not really what I meant.
天哪 Oh, Jesus.
-不是吧 坦纳 -好吧 那 - Come on, Tanner. - All right, well...
那好 回见 All right, I'll see you later.
那我 I'll just, um...
见鬼 见鬼 见鬼 Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
-你在做什么 回去 -见鬼 - What are you doing? Go back. - Fuck, fuck.
不行 太尴尬了 没脸见人了 算了 No, that was bad. That was bad. I'm good.
我都不知道她喜不喜欢女生 I don't even know if she's into girls.
她可是穿着Polo衫去参加舞会的 She wore a polo shirt to prom.
那只说明了她的性别表现 Well, that's just her gender performance.
那和性取向是两回事 It's different from her sexual orientation.
不好意思 我不明白 I'm sorry, but I don't get it.
性别是一种观念 Well, gender is a construct of
不劳您费心 这点我还是懂的 No. Thank you. That much I understand.
但我还是没想到 It's just... it's a little bit shocking
你会喜欢莱恩 that... that you're into Ryan.
迪士尼动画长片 讲述了一只名叫“杜翠丝”的猫妈妈和她的三只小猫的生活故事
你的初恋是《猫儿历险记》里的白猫 First crush, the little white cat from The Aristocats.
结果你画风一转喜欢上了艾薇儿 You go from that to Avril Lavigne.
这实在和我想得不一样 It just... it's not... it's not what I anticipated.
我喜欢她那种 I just like that she's...
一直都很阳光的态度 她的笑容也很迷人 always in a good mood, and she's got a really cute smile.
给人感觉和她一起过夜 She just seems like she'd be a really fun person
躺在一起聊天会很有趣 to have sleepovers and lie around with.
不好意思 打断你一下 Excuse me, pardon me.
和我过夜也很有趣 I'm a fun person to have sleepover with.
我们不都是这样 It's literally all we do.
不过 和她一起 可能更会牵扯上 Well, with her, there'd be more...
下半身 vagina involved.
有道理 That's fair.
她说尼克今晚要开派对 She said Nick's having a party tonight.
他当然要开 他就是个脑残 Of course he would. He's so fucking stupid.
毕业的前夜总有人会被抓进去 Somebody always gets arrested the night before graduation.
艾米 你知道等你明年到了哥伦比亚大学 Amy, do you know how many girls are gonna be up your vagina
有多少妹子等着你宠幸 at Columbia next year?
你知不知道 我可是很清楚 Are you aware of it? 'Cause I'm aware of it.
到时候我每次去看你 Every time I come to visit you,
你肯定都在和妹子磨豆腐 you're just gonna be scissoring a
而且还不是同一个妹子 different girl.
姐们 Dude?
没有磨豆腐这回事 Scissoring is not a thing.
-你先试试再唱反调 -没这回事 - Don't knock it until you've tried it. - It's not a thing.
你先试试再唱反调 Don't knock it until you've tried it.
我没唱反调 I'm not knocking it.
不如你先试试再说 How about you don't knock it until you tried it.
金字塔尖上的人来了 Here comes the one percent.
那辆车就应该被送进博物馆 That car belongs in a museum.
搞毛啊 杰尔德 我让你送到门口 What the fuck, Jared? I said door-to-door.
送进死亡博物馆 Museum of death,
因为它的尾气都要把我们毒死了 'cause its smog is killing us all.
-操 -你还好吗 - Fuck! - You all right?
他们无时无刻不黏在一起 感觉好诡异 They spend every minute together. It's so weird.
我们也形影不离 We spend every minute together.
我们是平等的 We are equals.
吉吉把杰尔德留在身边是当佣人 Gigi just keeps Jared around for when she needs a liver.
不要 求求你别爬到车上去 No, please don't get on my car.
老娘累坏了 杰尔德 I'm fucking spent, Jared!
-至少把高跟鞋脱了 -老娘累坏了 - At least take the heels off. - I'm fucking spent!
-车刚做完保养 -闭嘴 我睡会儿 - I just got it back from the shop. - Okay, shh! I'm napping.
你觉得他爸在他十四岁生日的时候 Do you think it's true that
给他找了个性工作者的事是真的吗 his dad got him a sex worker for his 14th birthday?
谁能编得出这么诡异的故事来呢 It's too weird of a story to be made up.
细节太具体了 There's so many specifics.
他扭了脚 她配了助听器 He sprained his ankle, she had a hearing aid.
妹子们好啊 What up, chicas?
简直不能忍 It's intolerable.
你们饿了么 You guys... you guys hungry?
我买了汤包 I got... I got some soup dumps.
小声点 Keep it down out there!
可能有点泡软了 但凉的也很好吃 They're probably soggy now, but they're great cold!
-老天爷 -没关系 - Good Lord. - S'all right.
我去你那间奇怪的卫生间小便去 I'm going to pee in your weird bathroom.
看着我的东西 Watch my stuff.
除非上厕所不用关门了 不然谁也没办法 Until all of us can pee without genitals, none of us can.
这帮熊孩子 These motherfuckers.
全性别寻欢洞
你 丑
拥抱我 冲洗我 杀死我 （恶搞U2歌名）
你丑什么 "Your ugly" what?
你们小学是怎么毕业的 How did you graduate sixth grade?
真是想不通 It's shocking to me.
那我选择 So, okay, so, I would.
你是
Fuck Marry Kill：在选定的三种对象中分别选择是结婚，上床或是杀死的游戏
-娶充气娃娃 -好吧 - Marry the sex doll, okay? - Right.
上了足球 Fuck the soccer ball.
然后 杀了莫利 And then, kill Molly.
不是吧 老兄 Dude, no!
没别的办法 There's no other way, dude.
我总不能上她 因为 Like, I can't fuck her, you know, 'cause...
我一害怕 我就硬不起来 when I'm scared, my dick can't get hard.
我也不能娶她 因为 And then, like, I can't marry her, 'cause, well,
我不相信婚姻 I don't believe in the institution.
所以我必须杀了莫利 So I have to kill Molly.
我知道这会让我后悔一辈子 And I know it'll haunt me.
我是个爱好和平的人 I'm a peaceful person.
这倒不假 That's very true.
等等 你们是在说莫利·戴维逊吗 Wait, are you guys talking about Molly Davidson?
对 没错 Yeah. Yeah.
那个女孩太奇怪了 That girl is so weird.
举手投足好像四十岁的大妈 She always acts like she's, like, 40.
我倒希望她四十岁了 I wish she was fuckin' 40, man.
四十岁的女人有自知之明 Women in their forties know themselves.
她很可爱 这我承认 Oh, she's cute, you know, yeah, I give her that,
但是她估计会让你一边干她 but she'd probably make you
一边考她SAT类比题 quiz her on her SAT analogies while you fuck her.
老兄 不是 Dude, no,
她下面估计夹了一堆学位证书 her vagina is probably stuffed with diplomas,
你愿意赌多少 how much do you wanna bet?
那下面就跟档案柜一样 That shit's like a filing cabinet down there.
我对档案柜没意见 Well, I've got no problem with a filing cabinet.
我愿意和莫利·戴维逊深情地水乳交融 I would make passionate sex to Molly Davidson.
真的假的 Really?
把她讨人厌的个性拿袋子蒙住就好了 Yeah, I'd just put a bag over her personality.
对 就这么干 Yeah. That's it.
莫利的性格和她的长相差不多 Molly's like a butterface for personality,
都是一副谄媚的样子 a butter personality.
没错 Yeah!
-太糟糕了 -是啊 - It's so bad. - Yeah.
-说的好 -怎么了 - That's cool, man. - What?
糟糕 Shit.
继续 别为了我停下来 Oh, please, do not stop on my account.
你猜怎么着 我下面是塞满了文凭 Do you know what? My vag is stuffed with diplomas.
不久之后还会塞满工作邀约 Soon it's gonna be stuffed with job offers,
还有亮眼的履历 以及州长的表彰 and glowing profiles, and commendations from the governor.
你们都在用心研究自慰的时候 So, while you guys were all studying AP hand jobs,
我在学业上力争上游 I was kicking ass and busting curves.
而且我明年在耶鲁也会继续这么做 And I'm gonna continue to do that at Yale next year.
所以 So...
我对我的选择无怨无悔 I like my choices,
不管你们明年身在何处 希望你们也是这样 and wherever you three are next year, I hope you do, too.
我也去耶鲁 I'm going to Yale, too.
什么 What?
SAT满分1600
我虽然手上活儿好 但SAT也有1560分 I'm incredible at hand jobs, but I also got a 1560 on the SATs.
胡说 你才没有 No, you didn't.
我还被提前录取了 I got in early.
-耶鲁吗 -没错 - To Yale? - Uh-huh.
对了 坦纳 你去哪上学 Oh, um, Tanner, where are you going to school?
我去斯坦福踢足球 Uh, I'm... I'm playing soccer at Stanford.
斯坦福大学 你们在说些什么 那 Stanford University? What are you guys talking about? That's--
-对 就是斯坦福 -没错 斯坦福大学 - No, yes, Stanford. - Mm-hm. Stanford University.
我不去上大学 Hey, I'm not going to college.
我被谷歌招去敲代码 I got recruited to go code for Google.
虽说比不过苹果 I mean, it's not Apple,
但是福利相当不错 but the bennies are pretty tight, man,
五六十万的工资 所以我挺满意 and it's mid six-figures, so I'm not complainin'.
-真不愧是我哥们 -真为你骄傲 - That's my boy. - So proud of you.
了不起 Amazing.
你七年级留级了两次 You failed the seventh grade twice.
三振才出局 Rule of threes.
你们是认真的吗 You guys are serious?
我明年就假装不认识你了 Hey, um, I'm gonna pretend like I don't know you next year.
别见怪 No offense.
这 这不可能 This... this isn't possible.
你们根本就不在乎学业 You guys don't even care about school.
不是 No.
我们是不只在乎学业 We just don't only care about school.
我收拾完了 Well, I'm... I'm done.
你先走 你先走 After After you. After you, man.
那好 Okay.
不好意思 借过 Sorry, excuse me.
你比任何曾经怀疑过你的人都更努力 You've worked harder than everyone who's ever doubted you.
你更努力 You've worked harder.
怀疑过你的人 ...doubted you.
你还好吗 You okay?
尼克 你明年去哪上学 Nick, where are you going to school next year?
-我以为我们不说话的呢 -告诉我 - I thought we weren't supposed to talk. - Just tell me!
乔治城大学 无语了 Georgetown. Jesus.
霍普 你明年去哪上学 Hope, where are you going next year?
别过来 我才没兴趣 No, I couldn't be less interested
跟着你发疯 in, like, whatever this is.
吉吉 你他妈明年去哪上学 Gigi, where the fuck are you going to school next year?
别看不起我 这是我的第五志愿 Don't judge me, it was my fifth choice.
哈佛 Harvard.
高四万岁 Seniors rule!
太操蛋了 This is fucked!
好吧 Okay.
看来这样帮不了你 This is obviously not helping.
我们做出取舍 We chose.
不去派对 专心学习 We didn't party because we wanted to focus on school
进入好大学 and get into good colleges.
我们做到了 And it worked.
但是那些醉生梦死不负责任的人 But the irresponsible people who partied
同样上了好大学 他们两样兼得 also got into those colleges, they did both.
所以呢 So?
我们搞砸了 So we messed up.
我们本来不用做出取舍 We didn't have to choose.
他们就两样都做到了 They did both.
我们是只做到一样的窝囊废 We are the only assholes who did one.
我们不是窝囊废 Hey, we are not assholes, okay?
我们先 Let's just...
过来坐下 我们切蛋糕 Come sit down, we'll cut the cake,
看看回忆盒 look at the memory box,
-庆祝一下 -现在不是庆祝的时候 - celebrate the end - This is not a time to celebrate.
我们今晚得去参加派对 We have to go to a party tonight.
-什么 -去参加尼克的派对 - What? - Let's go to Nick's party.
不要 你开什么玩笑 我才不去 No-- Are you kidding? No. No way.
艾米 我们只剩下一个晚上 Amy, we only have one night left
来达成高中学习娱乐两不误 to have studied and partied in high school.
不然的话 我们就成了错过一切的人 Otherwise, we're just gonna be the girls that missed out.
我们什么都没做过 We haven't done anything.
什么规矩都没有打破过 We haven't broken any rules.
我们打破过不少规矩 Okay, we've broken a lot of rules.
其一 我们有假证件 One, we have fake IDs.
假大学学生证 Fake college IDs,
那还是为了去他们的24小时图书馆 so we can get into their 24-hour library.
说出一个打破了规矩 Name one person whose life was so much better
-而让生活变得更好的人 -毕加索 - because they broke a couple of rules. - Picasso.
是 他打破了旧的艺术规范 Yes, he broke art rules.
说一个打破真正规矩的 Name a person who broke a real one.
-罗莎·帕克斯 -再说一个 - Rosa Parks. - Name another.
罗莎·帕克斯：美国黑人民权行动主义者。 1955年因在公车上拒绝给白人让座而被捕，引发联合抵制蒙哥马利公车运动。
-苏珊·B·安东尼 -见鬼 - Susan B. Anthony. - Goddamn it.
苏珊·B·安东尼：著名的美国民权运动领袖， 在19世纪美国女性争取投票权的运动中扮演了关键角色。
艾米 我是认真的 他们觉得我们是机器人 Amy, I'm so serious. They think that we're robots.
觉得我们关心的只有大学预科课程 They think all we care about is taking a million APs,
还有上耶鲁 and getting into Yale,
《法律评论》是专注于法律问题的学术期刊。 在美国通常由法学院的学生组织或律师协会发布。
在乔治城大学编辑《法律评论》 and editing Law Review at Georgetown,
大三和大四为联邦法官做文书 and clerking for a federal judge between junior and senior year
最终成为被提名进入美国最高法院 before eventually becoming the youngest justice
成为最年轻的大法官 ever nominated to the Supreme Court of the United States.
这是我的情况 In my case.
你说到点上了 You get the point.
-没人知道我们是有趣的人 -我们知道啊 - Nobody knows that we are fun. - We know.
他们也得知道这点 They need to know.
他们是谁 Who's they?
我俩并不是只有那一面 We are not one-dimensional.
我们不仅聪明还有趣 We are smart and fun.
我们必须得去 We have to do this.
你疯了吧 This is crazy.
我们明天就毕业了 We graduate tomorrow.
万一遇上麻烦了怎么办 What if we get in trouble?
我们又没那么蠢 You know that we are too smart for that.
再说了 莱恩也会去的 Plus, Ryan is gonna be there.
她希望你也去 你终于要采取行动了 She wanted you to come. You're finally gonna make your moves.
不 她才没有 No, she's not...
你都出柜两年了 You've been out for two years
但你从没有亲过任何一个女孩儿 and you've never kissed a girl.
我想让你体验一下 I want you to experience this.
你可能会问 那我在派对上要做些啥 What will I be doing during that time, you might ask?
我要体验一下性生活的乐趣 I'm going to experience a seminal fun anecdote,
我们将从此改变自己的一生 and we are gonna change our stories forever.
今晚我们该看肯·伯恩斯的电影了 We were gonna watch that Ken Burns thing.
《沙尘暴》可以以后再看啊 小贱人 The Dust Bowl can wait, bitch!
别人花四年作的乐 我们一晚就做得到 What took them four years, we are doing in one night!
天哪 Oh, Jesus!
-不行 -不行 - No! - No!
-我不能接受 -我觉得不行 - No. Not acceptable. - Not okay.
谁允许你打扮得这么漂亮的 Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
又是谁允许你这么漂亮的呢 Who allowed you to be this beautiful?
谁准你美得都让我窒息了 Who allowed you to take my breath away?
快点叫救护车 叫警察 Call the paramedics, call the police.
-这儿有人要窒息了 -美得无法直视 - 'Cause there has been an emergency. - I can't look right at it.
今儿你是抓不住我的 Not today!
让你看看我的逃脱术 Grip escape move!
工作套装呀 Oh. Work.
你觉得美不美呀 美臀怪 Get it? Tushy?
洗手液 Hand sanitizer.
润唇膏 ChapStick.
大学学生证 College IDs.
还有防狼喷雾 记住安全第一 Now, mace. Listen, it is very important that you keep the safety--
艾米 这安全个鬼啊 Ah! Amy! The safety's not on!
别摸眼睛啊 Don't touch your eyes!
她有的部位你也有 You have the same parts she does.
你只要像你平时那样就好 前后揉动 You just take what you do to yourself, flip it upside down.
好吧 其实我不太 Well, I don't... I don't really--
就是把手伸进去 然后开始揉动 Just a down, but a flip.
-我不 -就伸进去然后揉动 - I don't - A down flip.
好吧 我平时不用手的 这怎么办 Well... what if I don't use my hands?
难道你可以意念高潮吗 You can make yourself come using only your mind?
-才不是呢 -我的意念就没那么好使 - No. - That's the one thing my mind can't do.
不是啊 好吧 其实我是用别的东西 No! Well, I use just... other stuff.
-用书吗 -不是 - A book? - No.
你的境界很高啊 但我怕会被纸割到 Very Freudian, but I'd worry about paper cuts.
不是啦 我们可以不聊这个了吗 No. Can we just stop talking about this?
-难道是那只小象 -不是 别说了 - That little elephant? - No! Stop!
一定是那只奇怪的针织小猪吧 That weird crochet pig?
那是我奶奶去世前送给我的 My grandma gave me that before she died!
如果你不给我说是什么的话 你知道 If you don't tell me what it is, you know--
是熊猫 熊猫 满意了吧 It's the panda! It's the panda, okay?
就是熊猫 行了吧 The panda. Whatever. Just...
我们可以不聊这个了吗 Can we just stop talking about this?
饶了我吧 你快别聊了 Please, for the love of all things.
那我们来速问速答 Quick question.
只是个速问速答而已 Just a quick Q.
熊猫的眼睛是怎么回事 What happened to her eye?
那只眼睛早在我们认识之前就已经掉了 That fell off way before anything happened between us.
她会对你说骚话吗 Does she talk dirty to you?
-告诉你她濒临灭绝了 -不会 - Tell you about how she's endangered? - No!
-你别说了 -熊猫会呻吟吗 - Stop! - Do pandas roar?
你这个小骚货 You sneaky little bitch.
真不敢相信 你从来没跟我说过 I can't believe you didn't tell me
你每天会在夜里 that you have been mounting that tragic panda
骑那只可怜的熊猫 every single night!
-没错 -说实话 我挺开心的 - Yeah. - This is-- Honestly, it's exhilarating.
我以为你的事我无所不知 I thought I knew everything about you.
我觉得在友情里面有秘密很正常 I think it's healthy for a relationship to have secrets,
现在 我们就有一个啦 and now we have one.
我有什么秘密要给你讲吗 有了 Do I have a secret for you? Okay, yes.
有一次 我自慰的时候 I once tried to masturbate... Mm.
用了电动牙刷 with an electric toothbrush.
结果尿道被严重感染了 But I got a horrible UTI.
超级严重 Horrible.
就好像 Like...
反正就是很可怕 horrible.
我倒希望那个是秘密 I wish that would have been a secret,
但是你已经提过好多次了 but you've mentioned it many, many times.
《一个自己的房间》 （弗吉尼亚·伍尔夫的书）
我想让你去跟他们聊 I need you to do the talking.
为什么不直接告诉他们我们要去派对了 Why don't you just tell them we're going to a party?
因为他们要问很多问题 Because they'll ask too many questions.
他们还要给尼克的姑姑打电话 They'll try to call Nick's aunt.
我从来没对爸妈撒过慌 I've never lied to my parents before.
你懂的 我说谎时会说上好多细节 You know when I lie, I just add too many details.
编个故事就行了 千万别说我们去约会之类的 Just make up a story, but don't say we're having a date night or anything.
为什么 你爸妈觉得我们是一对很搞笑啊 Why? It's funny your parents think we're boning.
才没有 No, it's not,
我给他们说我们要在图书馆碰面时 because you're not the one who has to deal with their creepy smiles
你又看不到他们诡异的笑容 when I tell them I'm meeting you at the library,
虽然我们确实是在图书馆碰头 when I'm actually meeting you at the library.
说真的 考虑到道格和夏曼的宗教信仰 Honestly, it's surprising that Doug and Charmaine are supportive,
他们会支持你已经很令人惊讶了 considering their whole Jesus thing.
他们这是关心你 It's nice.
-夏曼 快去安全屋里待着 -你好呀 - Charmaine, get to the safe room. - Hey!
-因为有两个超模要来打劫啦 -你好 - We're bein' robbed by supermodels. - Hi!
你们看起来可真漂亮 Aw, you girls look fabulous.
而且还聪明 勇敢 Oh... And smart, and also brave.
-谢啦 -谢谢 - Thank you. - Yeah, thanks.
你们觉得冷吗 Aww! Are you guys cold?
-不是很冷 -是有点凉飕飕的 - Oh, no. - A little nippy.
我马上去生火 还是我把暖气调热点 I'll start a fire, or I'll turn up the heat.
把外套脱了吧 晚饭马上好了 Just get the jackets off. Dinner's about ready.
对了 你们得尝尝这个 Oh, you've gotta taste this.
我把它叫做毕业肉丸 Well. I'm calling it "diplo-meatball."
-没问题 -先别顾吃了 - Sure. - Don't engage them.
对了 对了 Oh, right, right, okay. Um...
夏曼 道格 Char-Char, Dougsicles,
艾米今晚可以在我家过夜吗 would it be okay if Amy stayed over at my house tonight?
-毕业前一晚吗 -没错 - The... the night before graduation? - Yeah.
我妈妈明天会开车送我们去毕业典礼 You know, my mom can drive us to the ceremony.
我们只是想在她去非洲之前 We just want as much time together as we can
一起多待一会儿 before she leaves for Africa.
我们做了 We made, uh...
蘑菇帽和蘑菇长袍 mushroom cap and gowns.
是的 我们给所有菜都取了名字 Yeah... We made special names for all this stuff.
我们花费了很多心思 Great deal of care was taken.
每一个 你们看吧 Every... I mean, look, uh...
这个是土豆沙 沙哟那拉 高中生活 Chips and sal-so long, high school.
你懂的 芝士沙 You know, cheese and... sala-me
不说了 当你爸是我这辈子最大的荣幸 being your dad was the greatest honor of my life.
每一样菜都有名字 You know, e-everything has a name.
这道橄榄叫"谁敢拦下我对宝贝女儿的爱" O-love my baby girl. That's olives.
-道格 -行了 我们知道了 - Doug. - Do you know what? We get it.
-但是 -我们真的懂 - But - We get it.
-好吧 -我们都懂的 好吧 - Yes, yes, yes. - We understand, okay?
-你俩所拥有的 -我们知道了 抱歉 - What you two have... - We do. I'm sorry.
-她们俩的感情是非常珍贵的 -我很抱歉 - What they have is very, very special. - I'm sorry.
没错 Yeah.
千真万确 Oh! It really is.
没错 人们总说不要忘记你最初的 It is. You know, they say you never forget your first--
朋友 Friend.
-重要的朋友 -普通朋友 - Special friend. - Normal friend.
我最爱的朋友 Yeah, my special friend. Mm. Yeah.
我们能一起过夜 我真的太感激了 I'm just so thankful we get to spend the whole night together
这样我们就能给对方看看 to really show each other
我们有多在意彼此了 how much we care about each other.
-太好了 -我的好朋友 - That's great. - my girl.
我们可能就是敷敷韩国面膜 We'll probably just do a Korean face mask.
行了 我不需要知道所有细节 Well, I don't need to know all the words.
好嘞 出发咯 Okay. Go, go, go!
太好了 That's it!
我的天哪 Oh, my God!
尼克姑姑家的派对马上要开始了 Nick's auntie's house is about to be popping.
-盛大的派对 -维维姑姑 爱你 - Big ass party. - Aunt Viv. Aunt Viv, I love you.
收到 那是给男孩儿们准备的 Ten-four. That's for the boy.
费里斯不想在休息日里 Ferris isn't trying to fall in love
-谈恋爱 -他确实是这样 - on his day off. - He is.
-卧槽 -天哪 - Oh, fuck! - God.
-坦纳吃了颗魔鬼辣椒 -天哪 - Tanner ate a ghost pepper. - Oh, my--
他需要喝牛奶 快给他拿一下 He needs milk. Someone get him milk.
喝牛奶不管用的 That's... that's not gonna help.
这牛奶太多了 他喝太多牛奶了 Oh, that's too much milk. He.. he just had too much milk.
卧槽 没人接电话 Fuck! No one is answering.
谁快来告诉我地址啊 Somebody give me the address!
除了学习上的事 We've never hung out with any of these people
我们从来都不跟这些人玩 outside of academic activities.
他们可能以为我们打电话是说学习的事 They probably think we're calling about school stuff.
你说的没错 You're right.
可以叫个滴滴吗 Can we just call a Lyft?
但我们还是不知道要去哪里呀 We still don't know where we're going.
滴滴司机也不知道的尼克的姑姑住哪里 Do you know a Lyft driver that knows where Nick's aunt lives?
我好像知道了 I think I do.
你在给谁打电话呢 Who are you calling?
小妞儿 不用担心 Don't worry about it, chica.
什么鬼 What?
天哪 Jesus Christ.
所有人都上这辆超赞车来 All aboard the SS Lit!
这车牛逼极了 As fuck!
超级牛逼的车子 The SS Lit As Fuck.
-不要上去 -很高兴你们叫我过来 - No. - I'm so glad you called.
抱歉这么晚才到 路上堵车 Sorry it took so long. Traffic was nerts.
我下来迎接你们 I'll co-- I'll come...
就像中年男子的梦遗场景一样 It's like Guy Fieri's wet dream.
这只是达成目的的手段而已 It's a means to an end.
小姐 我可以邀请你入座副驾驶位吗 May I offer you the front, mademoiselle?
不行吗 那就去后排吧 也挺好的 No? Goin' for the back? That's cool.
后排坐着也舒服 空气好 快上去吧 Back's great too. Great air flow back there. Get on in there.
好了 是时候跟永生难忘的朋友们一起 Okay. Time for some nights we'll never remember
度过几个以后再也想不起的夜晚了 with friends we'll never forget, huh?
杰尔德 你知道派对在哪里吧 Jared, you know where the party is, right?
当延啦 女士们 Absofruitly, ladies.
我们要去的是这里最盛大最酷的派对 We are headed to the biggest, coolest grad night party in town.
你们可以欢呼一下吗 Can I get a what-what?
天哪 Jesus Christ.
不愿意吗 没事 可以待会儿说 No? That's okay. Maybe later.
举办派对的地方就在西边那一侧 It's over on the west side,
所以 听听广播吧 So... Get some tunes goin'.
兰登书屋《向前一步》 女性 工作 Random House Audio presents Lean In --Women, Work
-和领导意愿 -好吧 - and the Will to Lead. - Okay.
-作者 雪莉·桑德伯格 内尔·斯卡弗尔 -好尴尬 - By Sheryl Sandberg with Nell Scovell. - That's embarrassing.
我在去派对之前 喜欢用这玩意儿来听 I have this thing where I like to hear the words of powerful women
有影响力的女性说话 before I party
以此提醒我女性应得的尊重和敬畏 to remind myself of the respect and awe you ladies deserve.
将革命内在化 Internalizing the revolution.
在夏天 我怀上了第一胎 I got pregnant with my first child in the summer...
我放点嗨的音乐 I'll get somethin' peppy going.
把派对开起来 怎样 We'll get this party started, huh?
不好意思 Sorry about that.
杰尔德 你可以接的 她不是你女朋友吗 Jared, it's fine. Isn't she your girlfriend or something?
什么 不是 她 What? No, she's...
我没有女朋友 我找不到真爱 No girlfriend for me. I can't pick faves.
很多女人想锁定我 但她们没有密码 Too many ladies wanna lock this down, and they don't have the code.
二 八 三 一 Two-eight-three-one.
好吧 那是我的密码 Well, that's my PIN number.
但是 Uh... but...
对不起 我只是 怎么了 吉吉 Sorry, I'll just... What's up, Gig?
杰尔德 你他妈去哪儿了 Jared, where the fuck did you go?
我把一盒特别的东西落你车里了 我现在要 I left my tin of special things in your car and I need it!
好吧 好吧 天呐 Okay, all right. Jeez, Louise!
要不要看看这盒特别的东西是什么 Do I wanna know what a tin of special things is?
哦 天呐 是毒品 Oh, my God. This is drugs.
什么 什么 What? What?
杰尔德 杰尔德 我们要下车 Hey, Jare. Jared, we're just gonna hop out here.
等等 什么 为什么 不 Wait, what? Why? No.
-她在开玩笑 -我没有 - She's kidding. - No, I'm not.
我们的朋友 她刚刚给我们发短信 Our-- Our friend, she just texted us.
她说 她开车撞了一只负鼠 And she said she-- she-- she hit a possum with her car.
-不 你知道是哪种负鼠吗 -太糟了 - No! You know what kind of possum? - Yeah. It's bad.
但负鼠没有死 它很激动 很生气 But the possum didn't die. Its adrenaline and-- and rage
就开始追她 just made it start chasing her.
我们不下车 继续开吧 We are not hopping off. Keep driving.
负鼠怎么了 她没事吧 What about the po- Is she gonna be okay?
需要发短信问问她有没有事吗 Wanna text her and see if she's okay?
别讨论负鼠了 杰尔德 你学西班牙语 对吧 Enough about the possum! Jared, you took Spanish, right?
是的 我美丽的女士们 Ah, sí, sí, mi bonita mujer.
说中文
没问题 相信我
别哄我
万一吉吉吸这个死了 我们的指纹还在盒子上
真的被抓了
我一点也听不懂 I'm not gettin' any of it.
刑事过失杀人罪
这些粉上没有我们的指纹 我们可以把它倒到窗外
太刺激了对吧 都怪我 Came in a little hot there. That's my bad.
-不过我们到了 -怎么办 怎么办 - But we are here. - What do we do? What do we do?
-别动 别吸气 -好了 - Don't move, don't inhale. - All right.
完蛋了 Oh, shit.
我鼻孔里有毒品 There are drugs in my orifices.
毒品 Drugs.
不是 那是 Oh, no, that's...
那不是毒品 是吉吉的维生素 It's not drugs. That's just Gigi's vitamins.
她的什么 Her... her what?
你知道的 就是维生素D B12 Yeah, you know, like vitamin D, B-12.
吉吉喜欢把它们碾碎 然后吸进去 Gigi likes to crush them up and snort them.
她说那样效果好 你们到船上可以弄干净 She says they work better that way. We'll get you cleaned up on board.
什么 你说在船上 What? What do you mean, "on board"?
对呀 你说你们想去最好的派对 Okay, now, you guys said you wanted to go to the best party.
那么我就带你们来最好的派对啦 So... I brought you to the best party.
也就是我的派对 Which is my party!
准备疯狂吧 Prepare to get bashed!
不 不是很疯狂的 Not-- Not in, like, a violent way.
完全合理的疯狂 不知道说清楚了没有 Completely consensual bashing. I don't know if that was clear.
准备迎接合理的疯狂吧 "Prepared to get consensually bashed."
我让他们换一下 你觉得呢 I'll have 'em change it. What do you think?
你认真的吗 杰尔德 这是你的派对 You're serious, Jared? This is your party?
你们不会喜欢尼克的烂别墅派对的 You don't wanna go to Nick's lame house party. You don't.
船就是法外之地 好吗 A boat is international waters, right?
海事法说的 上来看看吧 Maritime law. Just come check it out for a little bit.
超赞的 It's sick.
餐饮公司说这是他们去过的最酷的派对 The catering company said it's the coolest party they've ever been to.
而且我告诉你们哦 And I'll tell you somethin'.
美国前总统奥巴马的小女儿
他们为萨莎·奥巴马办过16岁生日派对 They worked Sasha Obama's sweet 16.
-你们随意 -我们怎么办 - Up to you. - What are we thinking?
我们还没有尼克的地址 We still don't have Nick's address. Mm.
船上或许有人知道在哪里 Someone on board might know where it is.
而且我也想见见曾经见过萨莎的人 And I'd like to meet someone who met Sasha.
是的 为了萨莎 没问题 Yeah, respect for Sasha. Okay.
真的吗 Yeah?
走吧 Let's go.
你们兴奋吗 You guys excited?
欢迎来到俱乐部 Welcome to the club!
不是吧 Oh, no.
很酷 是吧 我们在船上 怎么样 Cool, huh? We're on a boat. What's up with that?
这里连鬼也没有 艾米 There is not a soul here, Ames.
冰虎乐队 Ice tiger.
太夸张了 你还准备了礼品袋 This is insane. You made gift bags?
里面还有一个iPad There is an iPad in here.
里面有高中的照片 2019届的美好记忆 Preloaded with photos of all of our best high school memories, class of 2019.
怎么样 香槟要么 Say what? Champagne?
后面有按摩师 男的女的都有 There's a masseuse in the back, male or female.
酒吧后面还能赌博 你们要做美黑吗 Gambling behind the bar. Do you guys tan?
我很高兴你们能来 I'm so happy you guys are here.
-我就知道你们也参加派对 -她是说过 - I knew you guys partied. Didn't I? - You did, she said it.
我告诉他 那些家伙看起来很安静 I told him. "Those guys seem quiet,
但他们可能每个周末都玩性爱地牢 but they're probably spending every weekend at, like, a sex dungeon."
-没这回事 -来 尝尝这些草莓 - No. - Here, try one of these strawberries.
好了 Okay.
不 No.
不 不 不 No, no, no... Mmm...
-不错 -挺好吃的 - Not bad. - That's pretty good.
等等 Wait.
天哪 你闻起来和我的维生素一个味道 Oh, God, you taste like my vitamins.
我可能要爱上你了 I think I'm in love with you.
我觉得没有 I don't think you are.
-你和我一起去 -什么 - You're coming with me. - What?
楼上的舞会 Dance party upstairs!
-不 等等 -来 来 来 - No, wait! - Yes, yes, yes!
艾米 艾米 我们不是 Amy? Amy? Amy? Ame, we're not--
看看我发现了什么 上面有你的名字 Look what I found... with your name on it.
来吧 太酷了 Come on, too cool.
你感觉怎么样 你看起来很惊讶 How do you feel, huh? You look stoked.
-鸡肉卷要吗 -不用了 谢谢 - Chicken spring roll? - No, thank you.
你 Oh, you, uh...
你想要吗 You want?
不用 谢谢 Oh, no thank you.
我不吸毒的 Not a drug person.
大麻也不吸吗 我觉得它能让你放松 Not even pot? I feel like it could help you relax.
不 不适合我 Nope. Doesn't work for me.
DJ 驾到 Dj rod!
什么鬼啊 What the fuck?
杰尔德 停下来 Jared... stop.
杰尔德 停 Jared, wrap--
头盔拿掉 头盔拿掉 Take the helmet off! Take the helmet off!
这不管用 你买不来别人的喜欢 This isn't working. You can't buy people's affection.
不 我确信是可以的 No, I'm pretty sure you can.
我见过太多 我父母就行 'Cause I've seen it a lot. My parents did it.
他们的父母也可以 Their parents did it.
别白费力气了 好吗 Just stop trying so hard, okay?
人们能感觉到的 他们不会买账的 People sense it, it turns them off.
但你很努力啊 But you try hard.
你很努力 这就是我喜欢你的地方 You try hard and everything. That's what I like about you.
-我不是这个意思 -我想 - I didn't mean it like-- I'm just gonna...
-我的意思应该是 -我要走了 - I meant more like- - I'm gonna go.
-羊肉丸子要吗 -操 哪都有你 - Lamb meatball? - Motherfucker! You're everywhere!
有一次去阿姆斯特丹参加模拟联合国 One time I ate a legal pot brownie
我合法地吃了一块大麻巧克力蛋糕 when Model UN went to Amsterdam.
我一嗨起来就想到 我妈将来会死的 And as soon as I got high, I just cried about the fact
然后我就哭了 所以 that one day my mom will die, so...
-我也有同样的经历 -真的吗 - I had the exact same thing. - Really?
我以为自己在公园失去了童贞 I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park, but...
但其实那是个墓地 it turned out to be a graveyard,
现在那鬼魂还活在在我的卵巢里面 and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs
等待着重生 waiting to be reborn.
那完全不一样 That's not at all the same.
我总是觉得我们很相似 I always felt like we were similar.
天哪 我会想你的 God, I'm gonna miss you. Oof.
你不能在这里吸烟 Hey. You can't smoke up here.
你对她说什么 What'd you say to her?
我是和你说 你不能在这儿抽烟 I said it to you, you can't smoke. Um...
你不能那样和她说话 You do not speak to her that way.
她是指我吗 我没事 Is-- Is the her me? 'Cause I'm fine.
这是我他妈全世界最好的朋友 That is my best friend in the fucking world!
-我们不是 她不是 -我们他妈打死你 - We're not, she's not. - We'll fucking fight you to the death!
好了 我要打电话给保安 Okay, I'm calling security.
-艾米 我们得离开这里 -天哪 - Amy, we need to get the fuck outta here. - Oh, my God!
把它们点着 卢安 是时候了 Light 'em up, Luanne! It's go time!
现在只剩下一件事要做了 跳 There's only one thing left to do. Jump.
不 跳下船 等等 什么 不 不 No! Off the boat? Wait, what? No! No!
-不 说真的 -你 - No, seriously-- - You--
-你们在干什么 -燕式跳水 冲啊 -What are you guys doin' up here? -Swan dive into the future!
抓紧逃走 Grip escape move!
不要 不要 No, no, no!
吉吉 吉吉 Gege? Gege?
我的天呐 Ooh! Holy fuck!
吉吉 你没事吧 Gege, are you okay?
她没事 快走 快走 She's okay. Bail, bail, bail, bail! Just bail.
上帝 Jesus!
天呐 Oh, my God!
我全身是汗 I am so sweaty!
天呐 Oh, my God!
到尼克家之前我们得想个办法 We need to figure something out before we get to Nick's.
-你还想去尼克家吗 -你不想吗 - You still want to go to Nick's? - You don't?
好吧 姐们 我们去参加了一个派对 Well, dude, we went to a party.
我们做到了 回家吧 We did it. Let's go home.
-艾米 -不要摆出一副说教的样子 -Amy... -Don't do your lecture voice.
那不是派对 That was not a party.
那绝对是个派对 Well, it definitely was a party.
那是走错地方了 That was a detour.
我们是高端人士 We are A-plus people,
我们要去一个高端的派对 and we are going to an A-plus party.
像这样 Like this.
天呐 艾伦回复了 Oh, my God, Alan responded.
我们有地址了 我要订个车 We have the address! Okay, I'm calling a Lyft.
我的评分 Oh, my score is...
我的评分太低了 My score is very low.
我对司机太苛刻了 你来打吧 I'm much too abrasive with the drivers. You should call.
我要回家了 I'm gonna go home.
但如果你想去尼克家 那你就去吧 But if you wanna go to Nick's, you should really go. Seriously, go.
马拉拉 Malala.
我说马拉拉 I'm calling Malala.
你一年只有一次机会说马拉拉哦 You know you only get, like, one Malala a year?
是的 我说了 Yeah, I'm calling it.
全力支持 毫不置疑 你得和我一起去 Full support, no questions asked, you are coming with me.
马拉拉 Malala.
好吧 All right.
马拉拉 Malala.
乔丹是吗 Um... okay. Jordan?
是的 你是艾米 Yeah, and you're Am--
糟糕 Shit.
你知道 我 You know, I-I, um...
这份工作用来贴补家用还是很不错的 this job's a good way to supplement the, uh... the old income.
你知道 现在老师的薪水 You know, teachers' salaries today and all, so...
-太糟糕了 -是啊 真丢脸 - It's terrible. - Yeah, it's a disgrace.
认识新的人 看看这座城市的新去处 Meet new people and see new parts of the city,
还会遇到一些老朋友 and run into old friends.
-朋友吗 -另外 我正在写一本书 -Friends? - Plus, I'm writin' a book now.
-对 我不仅仅是校长 -酷 - Yeah, yeah. I'm not just a principal. - Cool.
没有什么比空白页更令人兴奋或畏惧的了 Nothing more exciting or daunting than the blank page, you know?
我在构思的一本书是关于格言的 One book I'm thinkin' about doin' is a book of quotes.
没有什么比空白页更令人畏惧或兴奋的了 Nothing more daunting or exciting than the blank page.
不过 这只是其中一个想法 But, yeah, that's one idea.
我想写个侦探小说 I'm thinkin' about doin' a detective novel.
实际上 你们两个会喜欢的… Actually, you know what? You two will love...
艾米 你会喜欢的 它是一个女侦探 Amy, you'll love this. It's a, uh... a female detective.
-真的吗 -女侦探 - Oh, really? - A lady detective.
-是的 怎么样 -挺有意思的 - Yeah, how about that? - Interesting.
她还怀孕了 而且还在工作 Yeah, she's, uh... And she's pregnant too. Still workin'.
而且 每当她接近一个线索 这个孩子 And, uh, you know, the baby, whenever she's, like, close to a clue,
或者她产生一个接近真相的预感 or, like, one of her hunches is, like, uh, you know, close,
这个孩子就会踢她 the baby kicks,
踢得越用力 她就越接近真相 you know, and the harder it kicks, the closer she is.
我现在就构思到这里 And, uh, that's where I'm at right now.
我不知道该怎么处理 I-- I-- I don't know what to do once, um...
一旦她要生孩子的时候 you know, when she, um, gives birth.
但是 But, um... Hmm.
你个该死的蠢货 Hey, you dumb son of a bitch!
马路不是你家开的 Choose a lane!
刚刚太疯狂了 That was nuts.
搞不清楚怎么回事 Don't know what that was.
这个小镇 Oh, this town.
到处都是愤怒的人们 Ah, the angry people in this town...
听点音乐吗 Want some music maybe?
好啊好啊 Yeah. Yeah.
太棒了 Genius.
姐们 尼克的派对我们要迟到了 Dude, we're gonna get to Nick's so late.
没关系 每个人去派对都会迟到 It's fine. Everybody shows up to parties late.
就像是 迟到会更酷的样子 It's like, it's cooler to be late.
我们到的时候刚好是最热闹的 We're gonna arrive right at the crest.
在你反应过来之前 Before you know it,
你已经对莱恩有更深入的了解了 you'll be neck deep in Ryan.
哪种深入了解啊 Neck deep in what direction?
得你告诉我呀 You tell me.
我不知道啊 我什么都不懂 I don't know. I don't know anything.
这就跟你那个 This is like your nightmare
必须迫降一架客机的噩梦是一样的 about having to land a commercial airliner,
比这还要糟糕得多 but much, much worse.
是嘛 有那么糟糕嘛 I mean, is it? Is it worse?
是啊 当然 Well, yeah.
100个人的生命掌握在我手里 I had the lives of 100 people in my hands.
我的机组就指望我了 My crew was counting on me.
我就是他们的萨利机长 I was their Sully.
前美国空军飞行员，航空安全专家，畅销书作者和演讲家
我真的觉得压力山大 I'm really stressed about it.
我 好吧好吧 我知道你压力大 I-m-- Okay, I know you are.
如果能有一个 If only there was just...
啪啪啪指导视频的话 a video of people hookin' up.
不好意思 你是在说黄片吗 Sorry, are you talking about porn?
-我说的是 -不 - All I'm saying - No.
没人会知道你看了黄片 No one would know
假如你只看了一部 只有一次 if you watched one porn one time.
把它当作纪录片好了 Think of it as a documentary.
只是关于性的纪录片 很火辣的那种 Just a sexy documentary. It's a hot doc.
里面的女优都是欧洲人口贩卖的受害人 All of those women are European trafficking victims.
不好意思 女士 Excuse me, ma'am,
你是在批判别人的性偏好吗 are you judging other people's sexual preferences?
你可是每天晚上都在搞熊猫 'Cause you fuck a panda every night.
搞熊猫 真他妈的逗 "Fuck a panda..." So fucking funny!
我现在要鉴赏色情片了 Are you about to say you're gonna judge me
你却要来批判我吗 for dabbling in pornography?
我还以为你是个性解放女权主义者呢 Thought you were a sex-positive feminist.
你疯了吗 Are you insane?
布朗校长就在那呢 Principal Brown is right there.
我有耳机呀 I have headphones.
他就离我们四英尺远 He's four feet away from us.
我有耳机呀 女士 I have headphones, madam.
好吧 但是一旦我们了解了技巧 All right, but once we get a sense of the mechanics,
-我会很快地关了它 -当然 - I am shutting it off real quick. - Of course.
这是以教育为目的 It's for educational purposes.
以教育为目的 Educational purposes.
快充电 你电话快关机了 Plug in. Your phone's gonna die.
布朗校长 Principal Brown?
布朗校长是我爸 Principal Brown was my dad.
叫我乔丹就好 Just call me Jordan.
还是不要了 布朗校长 Uh... No, thank you. Principal Brown?
-怎么啦 -我 - Yes. - I'm so...
你有一个手机充电器吗 Uh, do you have a phone charger?
我没有一个 No, I don't. Oh.
我有差不多十三个 Got like 13.
给你 接住 Yeah, here. Here you go. Catch.
你之前知道可以从那个角度搞吗 Didn't know you could do that from that angle.
等一下 我错过了什么 Oh, wait, what did I miss?
-退回去 -划回去 - Go back, actually. - Yeah, scroll back.
-那部分 从这开始的 -在这 - The part... Wait, start right there. - Oh, there.
如果你们想听自己的音乐 If you guys want to listen to your music,
我可以把线插在这里 I can just plug it in up here.
不用 不用 不用 No! No! No! No! No!
卧槽 No, fuck!
真他妈的爽 That's fuckin' hot.
就这样 - Yes!
快点 快点 Come on! Come on!
别碰我 Don't touch me.
刚才那是卡迪·B嘛 Was that Cardi B?
你 我的天哪 You... Oh, my God!
-你真是 -真不敢相信 - You are the... - I cannot believe it!
-你真是坏透了 -我要完蛋了 - You are the devil! - I'm gonna die!
我真的快要死了 I'm literally gonna physically die!
我的天哪 Oh, Jesus Christ.
进来吧 Come in.
他死了 He's dead!
那是什么鬼 What the fuck?
他死了 He's dead!
-谁死了 -我丈夫 - Who's dead? - My husband.
他被杀了 He's been killed!
好吧 艾伦 没必要每次有人来了 Okay, Alan, you don't have to do your entrance
你都演一遍开场 好嘛 every time somebody arrives, okay?
你们俩怎么来了 What are you guys doing here?
这里什么情况 What is going on?
这是个谋杀神秘派对 It's a murder mystery party.
我已经计划了好几个月了 I've been planning it for months.
等下 这是你家吗 艾伦 Wait, this is your house? Alan?
艾伦 我在短信里说得很清楚 Alan, I was so clear in my text
我们在找尼克的派对 we are looking for Nick's party.
我的丈夫 罗伯特 My husband, Robert,
是一个受人尊重的百老汇导演 was an esteemed Broadway director
是我此生的挚爱 and the love of my life.
但是他却被杀害了 And he's been killed.
就像大街上的一条狗一样 Like a dog in the street.
他是被捅了一刀吗 Was he stabbed?
听起来确实很悲惨 That sounds very tragic.
但是这里面有点误会 But there's been a mistake.
我们是正在找尼克的派对 We're looking for Nick's party.
你们有地址吗 我们找不到那里 Do you have the address? We can't find it.
我不知道什么尼克 I don't know a Nick.
我只知道忧伤 I only know sorrow...
与悲痛 and grief.
好吧 你现在用了十分力 Okay, you're at a ten.
我只需要你用两分 I need you at a two.
我要准备守灵了 I have a wake to plan.
好吧 既然你们已经来了 Okay, well, if you guys are here,
你们也可以拿到多余的角色 you might as well take some of the extra characters
因为有两个人不来了 since two people decided not to show up.
不是 No--
接下来 Okay.
一个刚进城的可爱农民 Adorable farmer new to the city.
我们不需要什么角色 We don't need characters.
我们不会留在这的 We're not staying.
丑陋的 Hideous
不会生育的 口腔正畸医生 barren orthodontist.
凭什么我就不会生育啊 Why am I barren?
我是来种地的 还是已经放弃这种生活了 Am I here to farm or have I given up that life?
这里就只写着 口腔正畸医生 This just says "orthodontist."
你们的背景故事都在那个袋子里 Your backstories are in the packets.
不不 我们不会留下来的 No, no. We are not staying.
我们要去尼克的派对 We're going to Nick's party.
-我们可以只待 -不 - We can just stay for - No.
-那个有人吃魔鬼胡椒的派对吗 -对 - The one where someone ate a ghost pepper? - Yes.
我记得有人是从那个派对过来的 Yeah, somebody here came from there, I think.
好像是市长 Maybe the mayor.
快 赶紧入戏吧 Go! Immerse yourselves.
回顾一下你们在客厅里的历史 Review your histories in the parlor.
还有如果你们的角色没结婚 Okay, if your characters aren't married,
就别腻歪在一起 hands off each other.
不要啊 No!
不要这么平静的死去 Do not go gently.
她可真好看 Oh, she's really good.
哎呀妈啊 你们来啦 Oh, my God! You guys are here.
-你是怎么来的 -怎么回事 - How'd you get here? - What the fuck?
那你们是怎么来的 How did you get here?
还有你是怎么弄干自己的 And how are you dry?
那你呢 How are you dry?
阿朗 我可以看到你在呼吸 Aaron, I can see you breathing.
吉吉 再深入挖掘一下情绪 Gigi? Mm. Dig deeper.
我不知道怎么回事 I don't know what... I don't...
她就像 She was like
我不能想下去了 I can't think about it.
结束了吗 Oh, is it over?
没有 停下来 No! Stop!
妈妈 不要跟演员们说话 Mom, do not talk to the actors!
这栋房子在11点以前都是我的 The house is mine till 11 pm.
辛迪 我发誓你再这样我就打死你 Cindy, I swear to fucking God!
我的妈啊 我的老天 Jesus Christ! God.
吉吉 你他妈在搞什么 Gigi! What the fuck?
姐妹们 连任竞选就要开始了 Guys, the re-election is coming up
我要知道我能不能买到你们的选票 and I need to know if I have to buy your votes.
等等 你是市长吗 Wait, are you the mayor?
那你知道尼克的派对在哪里吗 Do you know where Nick's party is?
我当然知道 Of course I do.
我知道所有派对的位置 I know where all the parties are.
哪里哪里 Where is it?
来我办公室 就现在 Come into my office, now.
好的 谢谢 Okay, thank you.
进进进 快快快 来来来 就现在 In, in, in. Go, go, go. Come, come, come. Now, now, now!
好吧 Okay.
你们谁也不能告诉 You can't tell anyone.
我们不会的 We won't.
你们彼此之间也不行 Not even each other.
好 Okay.
尼克的派对 Nick's party...
就在 Is at...
他姑姑家 his aunt's house.
我们知道在他姑 We know it's at his au--
艾米 我向天发誓 Amy, I swear to God,
我必须马上离开这 I need to get out of here.
顺便说一下 我真的很惊讶 By the way, I am pretty impressed
你俩怎么都控制得这么好 with how well you guys are holding it together.
你们真的很棒 You're doing fantastic.
你在说些什么啊 What do you mean?
我以为草莓现在应该起作用了 I thought the strawberries would have hit by now.
为什么草莓会起作用 Why would strawberries hit?
因为它们曾被浸泡在 Because they were dipped in
一种难以置信的强效药物中 an unbelievably potent drug.
死藤水 但是是亚洲的 It's like ayahuasca, but Asian.
亚洲死藤水 Asian-huasca.
我之前告诉过你们了 对吧 I told you guys that, right?
不不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no. I can't...
不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
把我拉回来 Pull me back in.
把我拉回来啊 Pull me back in.
我妈妈也有条那样颜色的围巾 Oh, my mom has a scarf that color.
听我说 Listen to me.
我们会没事的 We're gonna be fine.
有一次我吐了 One time I threw up,
我妈妈用她的手接住的 因为她爱我 and my mom caught it in her hands, 'cause she loves me.
我们是健康的 We are healthy,
性感的年轻女性 nubile, young women,
我们只需要保持冷静 and we just need to stay calm.
我们会 We are gonna be...
什么 What?
这都是他妈的啥 What the fuck?
搞什么鬼 发生了什么 What the fuck? What is happening?
你为什么看起来那副鬼样啊 Why do you look like that?
莫利 你是个该死的娃娃 Uh, Molly, y-- you're a fucking doll.
不 你才是个该死的倒霉娃娃 No, you're a fucking doll.
什么 What?
好疼啊 Ow! Fuck, that hurt.
还有我的大胸好沉啊 我失去重心啦 And my boobs are too heavy. I have no core.
我们的腿不会弯 Our legs don't bend.
是身体的两倍长 They're twice as long as our torsos.
真是逆天比例啊 These proportions are insane!
我的肥肉哪去了 Where's my chub?
等等 你要去哪 Wait, where are you going?
这真是太疯狂了 等等我 This is crazy. Wait for me.
我得看看我现在的样子 I have to see for myself.
我这辈子可从来没劈过叉 Well, I've never done the splits in my life.
艾米 Amy!
救命 莫利 救我 Help! Molly, help me!
天啊 别往下看 艾米 别看 Oh, my God! Don't look down, Amy, no!
我够不着 I-- I can't reach!
你得把我的鞋跟塞进你的洞里 You have to put my heel in your hole.
什么我的鞋跟 My heel...?
你的鞋跟塞到哪 Your heel in my what?
你的洞啊 Your hole!
哪个洞 What hole?
那个塞玉米的洞啊 The corn hole!
妈的 Oh. Fuck!
莫利 Molly!
我的妈呀 Oh, my God.
我穿着些什么鬼 Um, what the fuck am I wearing?
我的小妹妹去哪里了 Where's my vag?
莫利 我没有生殖器了 Uh, Molly, I have no genitals.
我要怎么尿尿 怎么拉屎呀 How do I pee? How do I shit?
我是说 I mean, I
我甚至没有乳头 don't even have nipples.
这里只有两坨不知道什么鬼 These are just mounds.
我整个身体就像一只该死的海豚 My whole body's like a fucking dolphin.
就是 就是 Just... just...
如此完美 圆润 Perfect, round.
-前凸后翘 -额 什么 - Huge mounds. - Uh, what?
看看我的身体 我真好看 Look at my body. I am beautiful.
不 别陷太深了 No, don't get sucked in.
这是我们的噩梦 艾米 This is our nightmare, Amy.
我知道这是不切实际的 对女人也不好 I know this is unrealistic and bad for women,
但是 真的那么差吗 but... is it bad?
因为我自我感觉良好啊 Because I feel pretty good.
我是说 看看这翘臀 I mean, this ass won't quit.
艾米 动动脑子 Amy, use your brain!
我不需要动脑子 我只需要光滑和灵活 I don't need to use my brain. I just need to be smooth and flexible.
看看这尤物啊 Look at you, you bad bitch.
好的 到此为止 我们必须醒来 Okay, that's it, we have to wake up.
我 滴 妈 呀 My, my, my. Mm.
我觉得我可以在这里多待一会儿 I think I might, like, actually stay here for a while.
不 我不会让你这么做的 No, I won't let you do this.
停下 停下 停下 停下 Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop!
我要让你吐出来 You need to throw up.
让我拥有这个身体吧 Let me have this body!
既然作为前菜的枣椰培根卷已经吃完了 Now that the amuse-bouche of bacon-wrapped dates is over,
我们不如来一场振奋人心的控诉吧 why don't we play a rousing round of J'accuse!
去你妈的 乔治 Fuck you, George.
她演的是谁来着 Who is she supposed to be?
口腔正畸医生 The orthodontist.
我们没事了 We're okay.
我们做到了 We did it.
我们参加了两场派对 毒也吸了 We went... we went to two parties, we did drugs.
我们不再是书呆子了 We can say we went out.
-我们回家吧 -什么 - Let's go home. - What?
不 我们计划好去尼克家的 No, the plan is to go to Nick's.
我们必须坚持计划 We have to stick to the plan.
姐们 今晚没什么事是按计划来的好吗 Dude, nothing has gone according to plan tonight.
正因此我们更加应该坚守计划 Which is why we have to stick to the plan.
我们再叫一辆滴滴吧 Let's call another Lyft.
你为什么就是不达目的不罢休呢 Why are you being so pushy?
说实话 这是一种恭维 Honestly, pushy is a compliment.
你知道还有谁是不达目的不罢休的吗 You know who else was pushy?
黛安·索耶 圣女贞德 Diane Sawyer, Joan of Arc,
黛安·索耶：美国电视新闻记者，ABC《早安美国》前主播
-约旦的努尔王后 -我知道努尔王后来自哪里 - Queen Noor of Jordan- - I know where Queen Noor is from!
一旦我们到了尼克家 一切都值了 Once we get to Nick's, all of this will be worth it.
忘了尼克的事吧 Just forget about about Nick's!
我们连他家在哪都不知道 No one will even tell us where it is.
你为什么如此迷恋他的派对 Why are you being so obsessed with his party?
-因为她爱他 -我的上帝 - Because she loves him. - Oh, my God.
吉吉 别这样 Gigi, stop doing that!
-你说什么 -莫利爱尼克 - What did you say? - Molly loves Nick.
你能不能别再重复了 Can you please stop repeating that sentence?
因为这不是真的 Because it's not true.
-莫利讨厌尼克啊 -谢谢你 - Molly hates Nick. - Thank you.
她表现出厌恶来掩饰内心深处的渴望 She projects disgust to cover up a deep desire.
不 不 不 谢谢 No. No. N-O. Thanks.
实际上是你给我们下药 Uh, you actually... You drugged us and
想把我们赶出这里 tried to throw us off a boat.
没错 就是我 I did. I did.
所以你说的话对我们没有任何价值 So nothing you say is of any value to us.
没错 不用在那对我竖中指了 Yeah, no, you can stop flipping me off
一边歇着去吧 闭上你的嘴 because you should flip off, so shut the fuck up.
市长女士 你在这里干什么 Madam Mayor, what are you doing out here?
乔治把自己锁在壁橱里了 George locked himself in the closet.
操 Fuck!
姐们 Dude.
不 No.
姐们 Dude?
不 No.
我不喜欢他 I don't like him.
是的 也许他 Yes, maybe he is...
在传统意义上很英俊 很迷人 classically, traditionally handsome and weirdly charming,
也许我天性认为他是理想的伴侣 and maybe my innate biology registers him as an ideal mate,
是的 也许我偶尔会意淫一下 and yes, maybe I occasionally fantasize
他对我英雄救美的场景 about him sweeping me off my feet.
一些怂货可能会称之为小小的迷恋 And some weaker people might call that a tiny crush,
但我可以忽略它 甚至与之抗争 but I can ignore it, I can fight against it,
因为每个人都有些奇怪的迷恋 because we all have weird interests.
重要的是 我们要把这种迷恋压下去 And the important thing is that we just... we shove 'em down
并且再也不谈论它们 and we never speak about them again.
你不必把任何东西压在心里 You don't have to shove anything down.
是啊 Yeah.
是啊 但我要压 因为我不能喜欢他 Yeah. Yeah, I do, because I can't like him.
也许我的身体可以喜欢他 Maybe my body can like him
但我的大脑知道这很愚蠢 but my mind knows that that's stupid,
因为他只是 他就是个蠢货 because he's just... he's a jock,
他只关心耍酷和寻欢 and all he cares about is being cool and having fun,
女生如果不是像三A那样 他看都不看 and he doesn't even look at girls unless they look like Triple A.
他肯定不想要我 And he definitely doesn't want me
因为我就是个谄媚的人 because I'm a butter personality.
你怎么敢这么说我最好的朋友 How dare you say that about my best friend?
艾米 你他妈的打了我一耳光 Amy, you fucking slapped me--
如果你再这样说你自己 If you ever say anything like that about yourself again,
我他妈的就把你锤死 懂吗 I will fucking lay you out, okay?
你是这个高中和这个地球上 You are the strongest, coolest, smartest,
曾经出现过的 most stunningly gorgeous creature
最强 最酷 最聪明 最美丽的人 this high school and this Earth has ever seen.
尼克·豪兰德应该感到很他妈的幸运 And Nick Howland would be so
能成为你人生中的陪衬 fucking lucky to be a footnote in your story.
所以我们要去参加他的聚会 So we're going to his party.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious?
我是认真的 I am dead serious.
如果去尼克家是你想要的 那就是你应得的 If Nick's what you want, then that's what you deserve.
怎么去 我们怎么知道派对在哪里 How? How are we gonna find out where the party is?
做我们最擅长的事 By doing what we do best.
做他妈的功课 Motherfuckin' homework.
-我现在要尝试 -等等 看 - I will now be attempting... - Wait. Look.
十五个披萨盒 ...15 pizza boxes.
你觉得丽都披萨店一晚上 How many orders that big do
能有几个这么大的订单 you think Lido's could have filled tonight?
-天才 -我知道 - Genius. - Yeah.
两个半奶酪半香肠披萨 Two half-cheese, half-sausage pizzas
就是一个全奶酪和全香肠披萨 are just one cheese and one sausage pizza,
真他妈的傻逼 you fucking morons.
老天 Jesus.
-趴下 911 别动 -天哪 什么鬼 - Everybody down! 911! Stay down. - Oh, my God! What the fuck?
操 他妈的这是什么 Fuck! What the fuck is this?
-我们才能问问题 -我的天啊 - We ask the questions! - Oh, my God.
该死 该死 是曼森家的事吗 Oh, shit, shit! Is this some Manson family shit?
-是什么事 -不是 - What is this? - No!
不是 什么事都没有 No! Everything is gonna be just fine!
你只需要告诉我们 You're just gonna give us the address
一个你今晚送披萨的地址 to where you delivered some pizzas tonight.
我的天啊 你们他妈的疯了吗 Oh, my God. Are you guys out of your fucking mind?
你们多大了 How old are you,
顺便说一句 by the way?
不关你事 Does not matter!
好吧 那个声音并没有让你们更成熟 Okay, that voice did not make you sound older.
所以你们基本上就是孩子 So you're basically children,
你们就这样自愿地坐上了一个陌生人的车 and you just willingly got in the car of a strange man.
你们有武器吗 Do you guys have a weapon?
有吧 Yes?
如果我们声称拥有武器 这可能是重罪 If we claim to have a weapon, this might be a felony.
操 Fuck.
好吧 所以你们用你们的头发当面具 Yes. Okay, so you're using your hair as a mask
试图不用武器就抢劫别人 and trying to rob someone with no weapon.
不过有趣的是 'Cause the funny thing is,
-我倒真的有武器 -操 - I actually have a weapon. - Fuck!
-我的妈 不 你有枪吗 -操 不 - Dear God, no! You have a gun? - Fuck! No!
我的枪是为了保护自己不受坏人的伤害 I keep that to protect myself from bad people,
这是你们也应该去考虑的事情 something you guys should think about.
你们到底有没有想过性侵 Did the... did the possibility of sexual
可能会发生在你们身上 assault ever enter your minds?
貌似没有 Not really.
是的 没有 我就知道 Yeah, not really, I can tell.
你们花了更多的时间在头发上 You were spendin' more time on, like, the hair
就是 这个部分 也许 and that... that whole part of it, maybe, yeah.
因为我们就在高速公路旁边 'Cause... 'cause we're like... right by the freeway.
我可以带你们穿过州际线 大概40分钟 I could have you across the state line in, like, 40 minutes,
把你们带到小木屋 用绳子绑起来 take you to some cabin, hog tie your ankles,
关在一个房间里 给你们留一碟牛奶 leave you in a room with, like, a saucer of milk
再把整件事录像几天 and videotape the whole thing for a couple days.
-什么 -什么 - What? - What?
不 想想看 No. Think about that.
-什么 -不 我不会想的 - What? - No, I'm not gonna think about--
我们只需要你告诉我们 We just need you to give us the address
你给这个大订单送货的地址 to where you delivered this huge order tonight.
妈的 那个 Oh, shit, that p...
好吧 算了吧 Okay, you know what?
我给你们地址 Let me give you the address.
我觉得如果我不 I feel like if I don't...
你们是真蠢 ...you guys are so stupid,
明天某个遛狗的人会在 some dog walker's gonna find your
天桥下找到你们的尸体 bodies tomorrow under some overpass.
-不要给我看你的密码 -也对哦 - Don't show me your pass code! - Oh, that's fair!
-好的 对不起 -密码的意义就在于此 - Okay, sorry. - That's the whole thing with pass codes.
我只是想拍下地址 I'm just copying the address.
这是你的私人信息 That's your private information.
谢谢您 非常感谢 Thank you! Thank you so much!
天哪 Oh, my God!
还有个小问题 Quick Q.
既然我们已经在你的车里了 Now that we're already in your car,
你能开车送我们去吗 would you mind driving us there?
是啊 为什么不呢 Yeah, why not?
-太好了 -我在讲反话 好吗 - Oh, great! - I'm being sarcastic!
他妈的从我车里滚出去 Get the fuck out of my car!
好的 非常感谢 Okay! Thank you so much!
不要随意相信别人 我的上帝 Don't trust people. Oh, my God.
太好了 天哪 Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, my God!
你太不可思议了 你太吓人了 Oh! You were incredible! You were so scary.
如果你是罪犯 If you were a criminal,
你会是洛杉矶最好的罪犯 you'd be the best fucking criminal in Los Angeles.
好吧 太好了 我们叫辆马车吧 Okay. Great, let's call a chariot.
操 我把电话忘在他的车里了 Fuck! I left my phone in his car!
为什么我要用视觉辅助 Why did I have to use a visual aid?
-等等 -没关系 - Wait! - It's okay!
艾米 艾米 我们明天去拿 Amy, Amy, we will get it tomorrow.
没事 用我的 用我的 It's fine. I'll use mine. I'll use mine.
百分之二 为什么他妈的只有百分之二 I'm at two percent? Why the fuck am I at two percent?
为什么我的电量这么低 Why is my battery so low?
黄片 我们放了很多黄片 The porn. We streamed a lot of porn.
叫辆滴滴吧 Just-- Just-- Just call a Lyft.
不 我不能叫滴滴 No, I can't call a Lyft,
因为如果我的手机关机了 because if my phone dies and
司机就联系不上我们 那就完蛋了 the driver can't contact us, we are fucked!
除非 Unless...
-快接 快接 -你给谁打电话 - Pick up, pick up. - Who are you calling?
你好 我们是莫利和艾米 Hi, it's Molly and Amy.
我们在胜利大道的丽都披萨店 We're at Lido's Pizza on Victory Boulevard.
我们被困了 请来接我们 我们需要 We are stranded. Please pick us up, we need...
关机了 It died.
-我们可以搭便车 -你这么想死吗 - We could hitchhike. - Are you aching to be murdered?
好吧 我只是把几个建议摆出来 Well, I'm just throwin' out suggestions here.
你们俩需要搭车吗 You girls need a ride?
我要坐副驾驶 Shotgun! I'll take the front!
太酷了 快上 So cool! Just gonna--
-艾米 你在干什么 -不 我 - Amy, what are you doing? - No, I--
我的腿好像长了半英寸 My-- My legs are, like, half an inch longer--
-艾米 你知道我晕车的 -啥 - Okay, you know I get car sick, Amy. - What-
放开我 你弄的我很难堪 Just let me go! You're embarrassing me.
-停下 -你才让我难堪呢 - Stop. - You're embarrassing me!
法因老师太感谢了 你真是个大救星 Thank you so much, Miss Fine. You totally saved us.
谢谢你俩从《吉尔莫女孩》中拯救我才对 Please. You two saved me from re-watching Gilmore Girls.
《吉尔莫女孩》是2000年开播的一部现代家庭伦理美剧
我已经快看五十遍了 I've seen it, like, 50 times.
好了 所以我要载你们去哪儿呢 Okay, wait, so what is this address I'm taking you to?
尼克·豪兰德的姑姑家 It's, uh... it's Nick Howland's aunt's house.
那里应该有一个派对 It's... It's... It's a party, technically.
你们要去一个无人监督的家庭派对吗 You two want me to drive you to an unsupervised house party?
那个 Oh... well...
很好 我很支持你们毕业前玩一玩 Good. I'm glad you guys are having some fun before graduation. Uh!
真的吗 Really?
当然 我的天 Yes. Oh, my gosh,
我可不希望你们犯和我一样的错误 yes. I don't want you guys to make the same mistake I did.
你指什么 What do you mean?
我二十岁时浪费了很多时间 I spent the majority of my 20s
去过度补偿高中时没兴趣做的那些事 overcompensating for the fact that I never had fun in high school.
所以 And, you know,
钟摆摆向了完全相反的方向 the pendulum then swung in a completely different direction.
我是说我当时着魔了 I mean, I went crazy.
二十岁真的是我的灰暗时期 I had some really dark moments there in my 20s,
非常灰暗的一段时间 like, some really dark moments.
很糟糕 我甚至被禁止喝坚宝果汁 Like, it was bad. You know I'm banned from Jamba Juice?
不是某种坚宝果汁 是每一种坚宝果汁 Like, not a single Jamba Juice, like every Jamba Juice.
禁令从公司总部下来的 That came down from corporate.
你们知道全国有多少家坚宝果汁店吗 Do you know how many Jamba Juices there are in this country?
也许有十亿多家店 Like, a bajillion.
那是全国连锁店 曾轰动一时 It's a national chain, it's a sensation.
我再也吃不到它的芒果沙冰了 I cannot have another Mango-A-Go-Go ever again.
但是我不希望你们也经历这些 But, look, I don't want that for you.
好吗 你们还有机会改变 Okay? You still have a chance.
我想让你们参加派对 想让你们尽兴 I want you two to go to this party, and I want you to have fun.
因为你们是今晚的主人 Because tonight is your night.
对对 说的太好了 Yes! Yes! Yes!
好的 Okay.
-好诶 -好诶 - Yes. - Yes.
所以 你们俩要穿什么 So, what are you two wearing?
我们在想 Uh, we were thinking...
大概就这身 Well, just this...
这个样子吧 this-- this, uh... this look.
你们俩还真是般配啊 You do know you guys are matching, right?
我们在这里加了一点装饰 We added this embellishment here.
你们能碰到我这个洛杉矶单身女郎真幸运 Well, lucky for you two, I'm a single woman livin' in Los Angeles,
我车里有很多东西 so I got a lot of shit in this car.
你们不如去翻翻那些袋子吧 Why don't y'all go through some of those bags?
抱歉 我们可以碰你的衣服吗 I'm sorry, we can touch your clothes?
当然 随便翻 Yes, please. Please, touch my clothes.
换一身适合今晚的行头吧 Please get a change of clothes. This night!
-我要窒息了 -什么 - I have no breath. - What?
抱歉 Excuse me?
-抱歉 说什么 -你让我自惭形秽 - Sorry, what? - I have nowhere to go with this.
-你太美了 -你容光焕发啊 - It's too perfect. - You are literally glowing.
你已经美到极限了 而我 You've hit the level of perfection and now I'm just--
-平常心 -你是出水芙蓉 - Be still my heart. - You just came out of the water.
是刚跃出水面的美人鱼 You're fresh from the water, you're a mermaid here.
你怎么这么闪亮啊 How are you so fucking shiny?
快给我拿个呼吸机 我要窒息了 Can you fetch me an inhaler? I can't breathe.
-我的眼睛啊 -我的身体不能 - Um, my eyes. Ow, ow! - I'm physically unable--
你的美貌快要刺穿我的眼睛了 Ow, my eyes hurt so bad from your beauty.
女士们 插句话 Um, exsqueeze me, ladies. Oh.
-抱歉 -你们还有一个派对要去 - Oh, sorry. - There's a... a party to get to.
-好的 -我们里面见好吗 - All right. - I will see you two inside, all right?
开玩笑 就是想一下如果我这样做了 Just kidding. Imagine if I did, though.
如果我进去 Just kidding. Imagine if I just went in.
一定很诡异对吧 That'd be weird, right?
太好笑了 That'd be so fun.
-总之 回头见 -好的 再见 - Anyway, see y'all later. - Okay, bye.
爱你 Love you.
再来一次 Whoa. Another?
给 Here. Aaaah!
你还好吗 You good?
还好 Yeah.
主席来了 Whoo! ¡El Presidente!
欢迎 我的心肝儿们 Welcome, my little turtledoves.
你们好啊 How are you?
想喝酒还是抽烟 还是什么都不要 Do you guys want to drink or smoke? Nothing?
有什么需要尽管来找我 Let me know, okay? I'm your guy tonight.
我会照顾你们 你们太棒了 I'll take care of you. You're the best.
你们真的吓我一跳 You guys honestly freak me out.
但我一定会想念你们的 爱你们 But I'm gonna miss you guys. Okay? It's all love.
永远的2019届 Class of '19... for fuckin' ever! Whoo!
莱恩 Ryan.
-在哪里 -莱恩 - Where? Where? - Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.
天哪 Oh, God.
-她真是光芒万丈 -去找她吧 - She's glowing. - Go get her.
抱抱我 Hug me.
好的 去找她 好的 Okay. Get her. Phew. Okay.
搞定她 抚摸她的小豆豆 Get her. Flick the bean!
莫利 给你的 大美女 Molly, here's to you, gorgeous.
-谢谢 -不客气 - Thank you. - Of course, of course.
坦纳 哪儿有医用酒精 这些劲儿太小 Tanner, where's the rubbing alcohol? There's nothing strong enough.
-不是吧 -就是 - No. - Yep.
-不是吧 -我又来了 - No. - I'm here.
你怎么来的 How?
我要下楼了 I'm gonna go downstairs.
拜 吉吉 Bye, Gigi.
-你能来我太激动了 -谢谢 - I'm so stoked you're here, dude. - Thanks.
我一直希望你能出来 I've always wanted you to come out.
我出了 Oh, I-I am out.
我十年级就出了 I came out in the tenth grade.
不是出柜 我是说周末出来玩 No. I meant, like, come out and hang out on the weekend.
对哦 出来玩 Oh, right, that-- Hang out.
是的 我也是这个意思 你知道的 Yeah, that's... that's what I meant also. You know,
去非洲之前 你需要好好玩乐一番 you need to have a little bit of fun before you go to Africa.
你记得我要去非洲吗 You remembered I'm going to Africa?
当然 你不是去乌干达之类的地方吗 Of course. Aren't you gonna go to, like, Uganda or something?
博茨瓦纳 去乌干达我会死 Botswana. They'd kill me in Uganda.
为什么 Why?
因为这个国家不太喜欢同性恋 'Cause that's country's not really a fan of gay people.
天啊 简直不可想象 Oh, shit, that's crazy.
你害怕去乌干达吗 Would you be afraid to go to Uganda--
-客房里有卡拉OK -天啊 - Karaoke in the guest room! - Jesus!
上帝 我想你 妈的 God, I've missed you. Fuck.
你想去客房唱歌吗 我喜欢那女孩 Do you wanna go do karaoke in the guest room? I love that girl.
好啊 Yeah.
-来吧 我们走 -好 - Come on, let's go. - Okay.
胳膊肘 Uh, elbows.
重来重来 Oh, fuck. Re-rack, please?
天啊 Holy shit!
这是莫利来了吗 Wait, Molly's here?
谁这么大本事请来了莫利啊 What a fuckin' compliment to get Molly to roll.
你真的在这儿吗 Dude, are you actually here right now?
是海市蜃楼吗 我出现幻觉了吗 Is this some mirage? Am I fucking losing my mind?
还是我真的让莫利主席周末出来了 Or did I actually get President Molly to come out on her weekend?
这是一次纯粹的礼节性访问 It's a purely ceremonial visit.
好的 好的 坐这儿好吗 Okay, okay. Hey, why don't you sit here?
就坐我旁边 Yeah, right next to me, please.
坐下坐下 咱们开始吧 Sit here and let's go.
从七年级开始我就一直在等这一幕 I've been fuckin' waitin' for this since, like, seventh grade.
请吧 这些给你 Please. It's for you.
这首歌唱出了我的全部 This song goes out to my cast.
*我想你知道* * I want you to know *
*我为你高兴* * That I'm happy for you *
*我一无所求* * I wish nothin' but *
*只想为你们祝福* * The best for you both *
*你了解像我这样的女人* * You know the virgin like me *
*她是否也像我一样扭曲* * Is she perverted like me? *
*她会不会跪在你的面前* * Will she go down on you in-- *
法因老师 Miss Fine.
法因 Miss...
老师 ...Fine.
法因小姐 Señora Fine.
你跟墨西哥人做过爱吗 You ever made love to a Mexican?
听着 这个游戏 Hey, listen, this pong
本来是我很擅长的 is actually supposed to be my thing.
所以你能不能为了我的面子收敛点呢 So if you could just tone it down for my sake, my self-esteem...
不 我想你得加把劲 No, I think you just have to step up your game.
你只要提升到我的水平就行了 Oh! You just have to rise to my level.
-这不是我的错 -达到她的水平 - It's not my fault. - To her level.
我们以前没在校外一起玩过真是不可思议 It's crazy we haven't hung out outside of school before, you know.
我以前以为你只爱学习不爱玩 但 I used to think you were all work and no play, but...
实际上你真的很有趣 you're actually pretty fun.
我 I...
我是很有趣 I am fun.
好 Okay.
嗨 法因老师 Hi, Miss Fine.
嗨 特奥 Hi, Theo.
*不* * No *
*每次你提起她的名字* * And every time you speak her name *
*她知道吗 你说要抱着我直到你死去* * Does she know that you told me you'd hold me until you died *
*直到你死去* * Till you died *
*但你依然活着* * But you're still alive *
*而我在这里* * And I'm here *
*提醒着你* * To remind you *
*你离开时留下的残局* * Of the mess you left when you went away *
*拒绝我* * It's not fair*
*太不公平* * To deny me*
*我背负着你给的枷锁* * Of the cross I bear that you gave to me*
*你 你 你本该知道 艾伦* * You, you, you oughta know, Alan!*
*但你看上去* * You seem very well*
* 却若无其事 * * Things look *
这酒很惊艳 This is amazing.
你很惊艳 You're amazing.
你二十岁对吧 You're 20, right?
是啊 Yeah.
你拿到麦克风了 你得唱歌 You've got a mic. You've gotta sing.
不 不要 No. Please.
来吧 拜托 Come on. Please?
唱给我听 快点 艾米 Do it for me. Come on, Amy.
唱给你听 好吧 For you, okay...
*但你依然活着* * But you're still alive *
*而我在这里* * And I'm here *
*提醒着你* * To remind you *
*你离开时留下的残局* * Of the mess you left When you went away *
*拒绝我* * It's not fair *
可以看出她不会控制呼吸 但唱得很好 You can tell she's not supporting. No breath control. But it's good.
音很准 是的 我支持你 好吗 It's on pitch. Yeah.Yeah. I support you, okay?
*你给的枷锁* * That you gave to me *
*你 你 你* * You, you, you *
*本该知道* * Oughta know *
天哪 Oh, my God! Oh!
-准备好了吗 -好了 - Ready? - Mm-hmm.
他妈的 Fuckin'...
天哪 Oh, God!
尼克 你需要更 Nick, you need more...
-你没事吧 -不好意思 不好意思 - Are you okay? - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
你需要更多的弧线 You need more of an arc.
像 不 太快了 像这样 Like... no, too much flick. Like, hoo.
看见没 当你才三英尺高时 See, well, that's easy for you to say
这对你来说很容易 when you're, like, three feet tall.
而我要俯视它 I'm lookin' straight down at it.
你有多高 How tall are you?
你觉得我有多高 How tall do you think I am?
五英尺四英寸吗 Five-four?
我的队友可没这么恶毒 My teammates usually aren't this mean.
不 不 她们通常都是金发 瘦削 Oh, no, no, no, they're usually blonde and skinny,
而且她们不喝碳水 and they don't drink carbs.
不 不可能 好吗 No, no way, okay?
我喜欢搞赫奇帕奇 I fuck with Hufflepuffs.
赫奇帕奇是《哈利·波特》中霍格沃茨魔法学校的一个学院，崇尚忠诚
赫奇帕奇 哈利·波特里面的吗 Hu-- Hufflepuff, like Harry Potter?
没错 Yeah.
我说 你是个啥呢 I mean, what, are you, like a...
一半斯莱特林 一半 half-Slytherin, half...
斯莱特林是霍格沃茨魔法学校中崇尚野心的学院
拉文克劳 是吗 Ravenclaw, yep?
拉文克劳是崇尚智慧的学院
说得完全正确 That is exactly what I am.
没错 这就是你 Yeah, you are.
靠 Oh, fuck.
好吧 听着 我得看着点他们 Okay, see, I'm gonna go take care of them,
确保他们不会弄死自己 make sure they don't kill themselves.
-而你就待在这儿 好吗 -好 - But you stay right here, yeah? - Yeah.
好 别走 我一会儿就回来 别走 Okay, don't move. I'll come back in a moment. Don't move.
-我不会走的 -别走 好吗 - I'm not gonna move. - Don't move. Yeah?
-我觉得你会走 -不 我不会走的 - I feel like you're gonna move. - No, I'm not... I'm not gonna move.
-别走 -好的 - Don't move. - Okay.
你来了 怎么样 找到莱恩了吗 Oh, my God, there you are. How's it going? Did you find Ryan?
你们去游泳池了吗 Did you guys go in the pool?
-怎么了 -莫利 - What's going on? - Molly--
一切顺利 非常 非常 非常顺利 Things are going so well over here, like really, really, really well.
我对他太恶毒了 但很有效 I'm being so mean to him, but it's working.
我们聊了哈利·波特 We talked about Harry Potter.
他知道我是个斯莱特林 He knows I'm a Slytherin.
-他似乎很喜欢 -我想我们该回家了 - He seems to like it. - I think we should go home.
等等 什么 不 擦干就行了 Wait, what? No. Just... just dry off.
不 我想我们应该走了 No, I think we need to leave.
拜托 我们走吧 Come on, let's go.
你疯了吗 不 他 Are you nuts? No. He...
-尼克在 -不 - Nick is fully... - No.
他在跟我调情 He's fully flirting with me.
这真的有戏 This actually might happen.
-听我说 真的有戏 -不 不 - Listen to me, this might happen. - No, no.
莫利 拜托 我求你了 Molly, please, I'm asking you,
我们走吧 好吗 let's just go, okay?
-艾米 去找莱恩 会很棒的 -马拉拉 - Ame, just go find Ryan. It'll be great. - Malala!
艾米 不 Amy, no.
-你在开玩笑吗 -不 我 - Are you kidding? - No, I--
一整晚了 你想什么我就做什么 I've done whatever you wanted all night,
我说马拉拉了 所以跟我走吧 and I'm calling Malala, so come with me.
不 你每次都是这样的 No, I'm not leaving just because you're doing the thing
我不要因为这个而离开 that you always do.
那是什么意思 What is that supposed to mean?
只是 你 Just... You...
你畅想宏图 You talk a big game,
然后当事情不如你所愿时就放弃了 and then you give up just when things get uncomfortable.
就像你跳进游泳池 Like you jumped in the pool,
而现在 你因为自己湿透了而难过 and now you're sad that you're wet, like.
-那是胡扯 莫利 胡扯 -不是 - That's bullshit, Moll, that's bullshit. - No--
如果我不拽着你做这些 你是不会做的 If I didn't drag you to do things, you just wouldn't do them.
你没有拽着我 You... you... you don't drag me.
你想做什么 就强迫我去做 You force me to do whatever you want to do.
那是什么意思 What does that even mean?
你决定我们做什么 什么时候做 You decide what we do and when we do it,
然后我们总是要一起做 一直都是 and then we always have to do it together, all the time.
我总是做决定 是因为你总不做决定 I have to decide because you literally decide nothing.
我承担了我们友谊中所有的重担 Like, I do all the heavy lifting in our friendship.
-你从来都不负责 -我一直都负责 - You never take charge. - I take charge all the time!
你从不负责 You never take charge!
我总是要推着你 I always have to push you.
没有我 你什么都做不了 Without me, you wouldn't do anything.
我去非洲就没有和你一起啊 I'm going to Africa without you.
是 但也是我鼓励你暑假出国的 Yeah, I encouraged your summer abroad.
我不是去过暑假 I'm not going for the summer.
我要去一整年 I'm going for the entire year.
什么 What?
我去过间隔年 I'm taking a gap year.
我推迟到明年秋天才去哥伦比亚大学 I deferred Columbia until next fall.
你什么时候决定的 When did you decide that?
我申请的时候 When I applied.
一月吗 你从一月就一直在骗我吗 In January? You've been lying to me since January?
是的 因为我知道如果我告诉你 Yeah, because I knew if I told you,
你会逼我留下来 you'd bully me into staying.
所以我们的约定 现在都要取消了 So all our schedules are gonna be off now.
我们不会一起毕业 We're not gonna graduate together,
不会一起参加毕业旅行 not gonna go on a post-college trip together,
我们不会一起搬到华盛顿 we're not gonna move to DC together,
我们的所有计划 our whole plan--
那是你的计划 That was your plan!
那从来不是我的计划 That was never my plan.
-一直是你的计划 -我简直不敢相信 - It's always your plan! - I can't believe you!
你觉得去非洲会让你变得坚强 You think that going to Africa makes you tough,
而你他妈的连告诉我的勇气都没有 and you weren't even fucking brave enough to tell me about it!
你他妈就是个懦夫 艾米 You're a fucking coward, Amy!
你既自私又恶毒 You're selfish and mean!
你是个糟糕的朋友 You're a bad friend!
你他妈的才是个糟透了的朋友 You're a fucking bad friend...
什么鬼 What the fuck?
我锁门来着 I locked that.
我猜 你并没锁 Well, I guess you didn't.
你怎么了 What's wrong with you?
和你老婆吵架了吗 Fight with your wife?
你能不能 Can you please just...
让我一个人待会儿 leave me alone?
你怎么会来参加派对 Why are you even at a party?
难道你不应该在哪里 Shouldn't you be, like,
进行毫无意义的抗议游行 marching in some meaningless protest somewhere,
或者在床上做作业吗 or, I don't know, in your bed doing homework?
你压根不懂我 You don't even know me.
-我当然懂 -不 - Pretty sure I do. - No.
你只是那些自以为 You're just one of those people who claims they're honest,
心直口快的人之一 or calling people on their shit,
而实际上你只是嘴贱 when you're really just mean.
我收回 Wow, I take it back.
你 You...
就是个混蛋 are a badass...
一点也不顾及别人感受 who takes no prisoners...
还在派对的卫生间里哭泣 and cries in the bathroom at parties.
你为什么这么残忍 Why are you so cruel?
我只是不喜欢乖宝宝 I just don't like meek people.
你呢 And you?
你就像莫利的跟屁虫 You're like Molly's little sidekick bitch.
你就是一个普通的热辣女孩 Well, you're just a basic hot girl
高中就是你的人生巅峰 who's gonna peak in high school.
你什么时候来的 When'd you get here?
不久前 A while ago.
看见艾米了吗 她他妈的气死我了 See Amy? She fucking freaked out on me.
我不知道她到底怎么了 I don't know what's wrong with her.
人们真的认为我和妓女上过床吗 Do people really think I had sex with a prostitute?
你没有吗 You didn't?
没有 No.
当然没有 我没有… Of course not. I haven't...
我就没和人睡过 I haven't slept with anybody.
全校都没一个人懂我 No one in this entire school knows me at all.
除了吉吉以外 Except Gigi.
我是颗金色的海星 I'm a golden starfish!
吉吉 那个从你船上跳下来 Gigi, the girl who jumped off your boat
在你睡觉的时候给你纹了个身的女孩吗 and gave you a prison tat while you were sleeping?
那不是针对我的 Oh, that wasn't about me.
她是个凄惨的人 你知道吗 She's a sad person, you know?
是的 她可能有点疯 但是 And yeah, she may be a little nuts, but...
她是我见过的最忠诚的人 she's the most loyal person I've ever met.
我是说 她有次试图捅了我们的邮递员 I mean, she once tried to shiv our mailman
因为她认为他在嘲笑我 because she thought he laughed at me.
结果 他根本不是在笑我 Turns out, he wasn't... he wasn't laughing at me at all.
他只是在看手机上的一个表情包 He was just lookin' at a meme... on his phone.
况且 不是每个人都有幸能有 Plus, not everyone's lucky enough to
像你和艾米这样的关系 find someone like you and Amy.
我只是尽我所能以离开这里 I'm just doin' my best so I can get out of here and...
去找一些和我一样奇怪的人 find some people who are into the same weird shit I'm into.
不是关于性之类的 是关于 比如 Not like sex stuff. I mean, like, you know...
飞机和音乐剧 airplanes and musicals.
什么 What?
我想设计出牛逼的飞机 I wanna design fuckin' airplanes.
没错 从中致富 Yeah, get rich off that,
然后再用那些钱制作新的音乐剧 and then use the cash to produce some new musicals.
受够了那些复排版 那都是狗屎 Enough with the revivals already. It's total bullshit.
观众应该享受一些原创的东西 Audiences deserve something original.
我是这么想的 I think.
我也不知道 I don't know.
我应该去确认一下 I should probably go make sure
那是不是真的有个死人在漂着 that's not an actual dead man's float.
毕业典礼见 莫利 Well, see you at graduation, Molly.
你还好吗 Um... Are you okay?
没事 对不起 我只是 Yeah, sorry, I just, uh...
我刚才有点头晕 I just got a little dizzy for a second there.
如果你想 我们可以停下来 Um... We can stop if you want.
不 不要停下来 No, we are not stopping.
好的 Okay.
你没事吧 Oh, oh! Oh. Are you okay?
我的天哪 Yeah. Oh, my God.
我可能要脱掉 I should probably take off...
我也是 mine too.
这衣服很漂亮 It's a nice dress.
她就只有这些了 It's all she had.
法因老师 Miss Fine.
我的天哪 果然 Oh, my God. Of course.
你感觉怎么样 How How How is that for you?
还不错 Um, it's okay.
你喜不喜欢其他的方式 或者是像这样 Is Is there, like, another way you would prefer, or, like, is this
我只是觉得 I just um...
我觉得这不是你认为的那个洞 I don't think that's the hole you think it is.
-我的天哪 -没关系 Oh, my God. No, it's okay.
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
我只是不习惯从那个角度接近它 I just... I'm not used to approaching it from that angle,
刚好我的视觉不是那么灵敏了 and my-- my geometry was off--
-没关系的 -我真的很抱歉 - Seriously, don't worry about it. - I'm sorry.
-这是啥 -你还好吗 - What - Are... are you good?
天哪 Aah! Oh, my God!
这他妈的是什么 What the... what the fuck? Oh!
-我很抱歉 -卧槽 - I'm so sorry. - What the fuck?
-天哪 真对不起 -真恶心 - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! - Eww!
你还好吗 Are Are you okay?
艾米 你走吧 Amy, just go.
请你走吧 Please go.
操 你他妈赶紧走 Oh, sh... Please fucking leave.
-对不起 我尽快 -快走 - Sorry, I'm going as fast as I can. - Go!
你们见艾米了吗 Hey, have you guys seen Amy?
没有 No. No.
发生了什么 What the...
等一下 Wait.
艾米 艾米 艾米 Amy! Amy! Amy!
我们都他妈的煮熟的鸭子 We're fucking sitting ducks.
他们会进来 我们跑不了 They're gonna come in here, they're gonna find us.
闭嘴 罗伯特 Shut the fuck up, Rob.
我不是懦夫 I am not a coward.
好了 集中精神 All right, focus up.
等我的信号 我要分散他们的注意 Wait for my signal. I'm gonna create a diversion.
什么 What?
看这儿 Hey!
不. No.
真的吗 Really?
你知道吗 这就是为什么他们说 You know, this is why people say
我给别人道路援助的原因 I gave guys roadside assistance, right?
我送他们回家 就这样 I gave them a ride home, that's all.
好吧 其实不是 我会给他们吹箫 Okay, that's not true, I blew them.
但这并不是说他们的汽油用完了 But it's not like they ran out of gas
在他们等待帮助的时候 I showed up to suck their dick
我跑过来给他们吹箫 while they waited for help.
我只是和他们在车上搞 在车上搞很正常啊 We hooked up in their car. It makes sense to hook up in a car.
我可不会在自己家里吹箫 I'm not gonna, like, suck a dick at my own home
在家我爸随时可能闯进来 where my father can walk in at any moment.
另外 我想好好享受吹箫 他妈的去告我啊 Also, I wanna enjoy it. Fucking sue me.
你说的很有道理 That makes a lot of sense.
你知道最糟糕的是什么吗 You know what the worst part is?
所有的女生也都这样说我 All the fucking girls call me that, too.
我知道 本 马克斯和阴茎碎片会说这些蠢话 I knew, like, Ben and Max and Dick Splinter would say stupid shit.
我只是 I just...
我没想到女生也会这样 I didn't think the girls would, too.
艾米从来没这样说过你 Amy never called you that.
我很抱歉 我真的很抱歉 I'm sorry, I'm genuinely sorry.
明年在耶鲁 请不要再叫我三A了 Just, like, please don't call me Triple A at Yale next year.
我只想让人们知道我的真实姓名 I just want people to know my real name.
没问题 Of course.
Annabel Annabel.
操 姐们 不是现在 Fuck, dude, no, not right now.
我很抱歉 这不太好 I'm sorry. That was bad.
我不该这样 That wasn't my best. Come on.
天啊 你搞的我很尴尬 Jesus Christ. That was embarrassing for me.
对此我也很抱歉 I'm sorry for that too.
等等 你他妈的住在哪里 Wait, where the fuck do you live?
什么 What?
好的 All right.
-你知道 我有我的权利 -我的天哪 - Well, just so you know, I know my rights. - Oh, my God.
在美国监狱比大学多 There are more prisons than colleges in the United States.
-你知道吗 -你说得对 - Did you know that? - You're right.
在加利福尼亚州安置一个囚犯要花费71000美元 And it costs $71,000 to house an inmate in California.
这比哈佛还贵 That's more than Harvard.
-真的吗 -这似乎太过激了 - Yeah, really? - Well, it seems excessive.
我有猎枪 我开玩笑的 我没有 Shotgun. Just kidding. I don't have one.
实际上我是来找别人的 我很抱歉 Oh, I'm actually... I'm actually here for someone else. I'm so sorry.
我的错 我的错 My mistake. My mistake. My mistake. Oh, my God!
去你妈的 姐们 Fuck you, dude.
姐们 你被关在监狱里了 Dude, you're in full-on jail.
是的 我知道 Yeah, I know.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
其实也没关系 I mean, it's okay.
我要交罚款然后去见法官 I'm gonna have to pay a fine and go before the judge,
-但我们两个 -不 我很抱歉 - but we both - No, I'm sorry.
我知道女人经常道歉 Uh... I know women apologize too much,
但是 在这种情况下 我真的很抱歉 but, in this case, I have so much to be sorry for.
我太自私了 I was so selfish.
我是个懦夫 I I was being a coward.
你说了马拉拉 You called Malala.
我骗了你 莫利 I lied to you, Moll.
你不想让我看到 You were trying to save me
尼克对莱恩性致勃勃 from seeing Nick rub his boner all up against Ryan.
天哪 你真的相信吗 Oh, my God, can you believe that, by the way?
不 说实话 我不相信 No. Honestly, no.
我早就猜到尼克和特奥在一起了 I would have guessed that Nick hooked up with Theo
在我猜到莱恩之前 before I would have guessed Ryan.
尼克和特奥确实一见钟情 Nick and Theo do have great chemistry.
绝配 看得出来 Divine. I mean, it's palpable.
我很抱歉我的控制欲太强了 I'm sorry I'm so controlling.
我无法想象没有你的生活 I just can't imagine my life without you.
你就是毕业前夜被捕的那个家伙 You are the motherfucker who got arrested the night before graduation.
天哪 毕业典礼 Oh, my God, graduation.
莫利 现在几点了 你得走了 Molly, what... what time is it? You have to go.
是啊 你觉得为什么我在这儿 Yeah, why do you think I'm here?
你要和我一起走 You're coming with me.
姐们 我搞砸了 我走不了 Dude, no, I am screwed. I can't leave.
你得走了 艾米 You have to go. Amy...
没有你我是不会毕业的 I am not graduating without you.
所以要么我被逮捕 我和你一起 So either I get arrested and I join you in there
要么我们一起走 or we go together.
要怎么做 How?
我们要交换一些信息 We're gonna trade some information.
因为我们见过这个人 Because we have seen this man.
什么 What?
-那是杰尔德的车吗 -我稍后解释 - Is that Jared's car? - I'll explain later.
-我开车吗 -当然是你开车 - Am I driving? - Of course you're driving!
-钥匙给我 -我的错 - Need this. Go! - Oh, that was my fault!
好吧 韦兹说还有十九分钟 七点就开始了 Okay, Waze says 19 minutes. We're doing it in seven.
我们出发吧 Let's fuckin' do this.
同学们 找个座位 Hey, guys, let's go ahead and take a seat.
行了 Stop!
伊芙琳 Hey, Evelyn.
我只是想说 I just wanted to say...
祝你暑假愉快 Have a great summer.
孩子们都是这样的 对吧 That's what the kids are doin', right?
有一个光明的 Have a great...
好吧 淡定 All right, cool.
淡定淡定 恶心 Cool, cool, cool. Sickening.
早上好 女王 Morning, my queen.
你好 Hi.
昨晚真是太棒了 So last night was amazing.
我能再见到你吗 Can I see you again?
祝你明年在谷歌好运 好吗 Good luck at Google next year, okay?
好 Okay.
再见 Bye.
你搞了法因老师吗 Did you fuck Miss Fine?
有人见到莫利了吗 Ha Has anybody seen, uh, Molly?
因为我们得开始了 她不见了 'Cause we've gotta get started. She kicks it off. Huh? Nobody?
昨天大家都在学校的时候 'Cause I haven't seen her either since yesterday
我也没见到她 when we were at school, all of us, at school together.
莫利提醒我她可能会晚一点 So, Molly warned me she might be a little late
然后让我代她演讲 and tapped me to start her speech.
-莫利毕业典礼要迟到吗 -对 - Molly is gonna be late to graduation? - Yeah.
-这听起来不像她 -好吧 - That doesn't sound like her. - Right.
她还让我提醒你 Well, uh, she also asked me to remind you that... um...
是这样 I got it, uh...
这类事情在参议院经常发生 This sort of thing happens all the time on the Senate floor.
如果参议员没有出席投票 And if a senator isn't present for a vote,
-代理人可以要求 -好了 听起来很像她 - a proxy can call for a motion... - Okay. That does sound like her.
-在他缺席时 -我懂了 谢谢你 杰尔德 - ...for the vote to take place... - I got it. Thanks, Jared.
-代替他投票 -好的 所以 - ...in her absence. - Okay, so...
所以她选了你代替她吗 So she tapped you?
-对 选了我 -好吧 - Tapped me. - Okay.
算了 我批准了 你上吧 由你来开头 Yeah, fuck it, I approve, you're up. You're gonna kick it off.
他上去了 Oh. Oh. Okay, there he goes.
给你点赞 宝贝 杰尔德 Yeah, yeah, Shantay, you stay, honey! Oh, Jared!
看啊 Look at you.
早上好 Good morning.
我是莫利·戴维逊 I'm Molly Davidson.
我是个女性 I am a woman.
-我是个强大的女性 -我的天 - I am a powerful woman. - My boy!
我已准备用我女性的力量为世界带来改变 And I'm ready to take the fists of my femininity to the status quo.
正统的白人男性 Straight, white man,
你们的时代 your time is...
好吧 Okay.
我的天啊 我的车玩完了 Oh, my God, my car is fucked up.
好了 我去座位上了 All right, I'm gonna go take my seat. I'm gonna go take my seat.
来啊 来啊 看看谁来了 Come on. Come on! Look who made it!
艾米 艾米 Amy! Amy!
谢谢你 Thank you.
好 Okay.
看来杰尔德刚才做得很不错 Looks like Jared did a pretty good job.
没错 Yes, he did.
我 I...
我以前很 I was so...
害怕你们 scared of you.
我觉得我一定要证明自己比你们每个人优秀 I felt like I had to prove that I was better than you.
但实际上 But really...
我知道的并没有比你们多 I don't know any more than you guys.
我知道的是我们都还有很多要去学习 All I know is that we have a lot more to learn.
高中结束了 'Cause this part's over.
这真的很令人伤感 And that's so sad.
但也非常美好 不是吗 But it was great, wasn't it?
我们无法再回到曾经了 Things are never gonna be the same,
但是曾经的时光很完美 but it was perfect.
还有 之前我可能对大家了解不多 And-- And I may not have before,
但现在我真正地认识了你们 but I see you now.
你们都非常优秀 And you're all pretty great.
别让大学毁了你们啊 Don't let college fuck it up.
祝贺大家 Congratulations.
我也了解你了 I... I see you.
太棒了 Yes!
好了 好了 Okay. Okay.
刚刚的已经结束了 That went over,
我是不会缩短我的发言时间的 but I will not be cutting down my allotted time.
吉吉 音乐 Gigi, hit the track.
-这样很好 -你知道怎样更好吗 - That's pretty good. - Know what's good?
如果你把这些卷起来... If you roll these...
你就会有更多的空间了 ...and then you'll have more room.
-还是不要卷起来了 -但是... - Oh, probably not rolling them. - Yeah, but--
-好吧 为什么非得是 -看 - Well, why does it have to be- - Oh! Look! Oh!
天啊 你居然带了灵灵 God, you're bringing Lingling. Mm.
-好吧 -灵灵 - Well- - Oh, Lingling!
不要 Um... No.
-你一定要对我的艾米好 -我得装起来了 - Please be good to my Amy. - I've gotta pack up.
-别让她孤独 -我要装起来了 - Make her feel like she's not so lonely. - Pack it up.
要让她快乐 Make her feel good. Mm!
-艾米 停下来 -我要装进旧箱子了 - Amy, make it stop. - Gotta put that in the old suitcase.
请别把你的脸贴在熊猫脸上 Please don't put your face on the face.
快让她停下 Make it stop.
头上 脸上 别亲鼻子 On the head, on the neck. Not the nose.
-我要 -艾米 - I got- - Amy, there's...
看看她准备带什么 Look who she's bringing.
好吧 Okay.
是灵灵吗 Lingling?
-不 -让我来瞧瞧 - No! - Oh, let me get in there.
不 不 No, no--
艾米 那个 有人来看你了 Amy, there's, uh, someone here to see you.
是吗 谁啊 Hm? Who?
什么 What?
她为什么会来这 Oh. Why is she here?
借过 Excuse me.
艾米 她为什么会来这儿 Amy, why is she here?
我觉得我得把你衣服还给你 I figured I'd bring back your clothes.
太谢谢了 Oh. Thanks so much.
我不会经常把我的内衣 I don't... I don't usually leave my underwear
留在我的 in... in places that are...
房间之外的 that aren't my room.
我想也是 Yeah, I figured.
所以 So, um...
你怎么 怎么 How... how...
你还好吗 Are-- Are you... Are you okay?
我挺好的 Yeah, I'm fine.
你呢 Are you okay?
还好 Yeah.
你知道的 You know...
监狱多少都会改变一个人 但是 prison kind of changes you, but, uh... Mmm.
我还好 I'm fine.
抱歉 我就是 我真的还不知道 I'm sorry, I just... I really don't know
怎么处理那些事情 what I'm doing with all that stuff yet.
好吧 Well, for...
对于那些不知道自己在做什么的人来说 someone who has no idea what they're doing...
你还挺知道自己在做什么的 you kind of know what you're doing.
那还真是 That's a...
还挺好的 Um, that's cool.
所以 你 So, how... Uh...
你暑假怎么样 How is your... How is... How is your summer going?
我意思是 你打算暑假做些什么 I mean, wh-- what are you doing for... for the summertime?
我估计我会背包旅行一会 I think I'm gonna backpack around for a bit.
-真的吗 -对啊 - Really? - Yeah.
去哪 Where?
我不知道 任何有沙发过夜的地方吧 I don't know. Honestly, anywhere I can find a couch to crash on.
我就是想在上大学前多看一些东西 I just... you know, I wanna see some stuff before college.
这真的很棒 That's... that's really cool.
我也是 所以我会休学一年 Me too, that's... that's why I'm taking a gap year.
是吗 Yeah?
是啊 Yeah.
好吧 All right, well...
祝你休学愉快 书呆子 have fun, nerd.
如果你什么时候来了博茨瓦纳 Um, well, if-- if you ever end up in... in Botswana...
你可以去我那睡沙发 you'd have a couch to crash on.
好啊 Okay.
严格来说 那不是我的沙发 Well, technically, it won't be my couch,
因为我是和一家人住在一起 'cause I'll be staying with a family,
-但我相信他们不会介意的 -好 - but I'm sure they'll be cool with it. - Okay.
太好了 Yes.
莫利 Molly!
艾米 这东西开起来很笨重 Amy, this thing drives like a cruise ship.
好啦 现在是你的了 Well, it's yours now.
帮我照顾好这辆老沃尔沃 Take care of the old Volvo for me.
说到私处 Oh, speaking of vulva,
私处的英语发音近似沃尔沃
还记得你没找对霍普的私处 remember when you missed Hope's,
然后你直冲屁股那个洞去了 and you just went straight for that butt hole!
我说过一天只能提这事一次 I said... I said, "once a day."
-我要提前先讲掉 -一天只能提一次 - Hey, I have to stock up. - Once a day.
因为你要在飞机上呆28个小时 You're gonna be on a flight for 28 hours.
我说过你只能一天提一次 I said you could mention it once a day.
所以我得提前说啊 So I have to stock up. Aah!
我没错啊 It's not my fault.
好吧 现在换我开车了有点不习惯 Yeah. It feels weird to be on this side of the car.
就好像所有事都不同了 It's like everything's... different.
对啊 我都不敢相信明天就见不到你了 Yeah, I can't believe I'm not gonna see you tomorrow.
记得用那个古董翻盖手机给我打电话 Call me on that weird international flip phone, okay?
我会的 I will.
好 Okay.
-拜 我爱你 -拜 - Bye. I love you. - Bye.
爱你 Love you.
拜 Bye.
-好好做卫生棉去吧 -我会的 - Go make those tampons, girl. - I will. I...
-拜 -拜 - Bye. - Bye.
记得拿那个包 Oh, gotta get that bag.
对 这可是趟长途旅行 Yep. Yeah, it's... it's a long trip.
加油 Go get 'em.
一年后见 What's a year?
好 Okay.
天啊 天啊 Oh, fuck! Fuck!
你有没有搞错啊 What the fuck is wrong with you?
我正在感受我的情绪 I was going through a thing!
你不是吧 你 You weren't-- You're
我正在感受他妈的离别之情 I was going through a whole fucking thing!
到底搞什么 What the fuck?
-我可以最后一个登机 -你搞什么啊 - I can be the last one on the plane. - What's wrong with you?
你想吃煎饼吗 You wanna get pancakes?
操 吃啊 我想吃 Fuck, yeah, I do! Fuck, yeah!